There’s something to be said for selling out. A new high
school in Philadelphia is selling advertising space in and on their
buildings, charging up to $1 million for a single wall.
Look around. How many walls do you see on campus? Exactly.
I have a revolutionary proposal to the powers that be at UCLA:
Follow the lead of the Philadelphia schools’ chief executive
and “leave no dollar behind.”
OK, so maybe I was being a little dramatic with the
“revolutionary” part. The idea of taking advantage of
corporations’ advertising needs is hardly new.
A 20-year-old man auctioned off space on his forehead on eBay
for advertising. A Texas town changed its name to DISH in exchange
for 10 years of free satellite TV for the residents. The naming
rights for UCLA’s Mattel Children’s Hospital cost the
toy manufacturers $25 million.
Advertising is the way of the future. Clearly these initiatives
have been lucrative ““ which is why it is so important that
UCLA take full advantage of the situation.
With so many students and members of the public who traipse
across campus every day, $1 million would be the bare minimum the
university could charge per wall ““ and there’s no
reason to stop with walls.
Since we’re so close to LAX, rooftop space could be sold
as well. The very ground we walk on could become a beautiful
collage of Pepsi and Sprite and other products that rot our
teeth.
If we use every square foot of space, we could use some of the
funds to reduce the cost of tuition or improve the campus.
Education costs are steadily rising, and this may be a way to keep
those costs down.
Ready to share my ideas, I called the UCLA switchboard and told
the operator I had an earth-shattering idea that would change the
future as we know it. I said I desperately needed to talk to
someone with a lot of influence.
She transferred me to the bookstore. I tried again, and got in
contact with Phil Hampton from the UCLA Office of Media
Relations.
He explained that UCLA does allow advertisements in a few
places, such as Pauley Pavilion and kiosks at the fringes of
campus, but that “advertising on walls and rooftops is not
appropriate on buildings on campus.” He also added that it
would detract from campus aesthetics.
I e-mailed associate professor of economics Daniel Ackerberg to
ask if he thought detracting from campus beauty would be worth the
extra revenue.
He suggested that a campus-wide vote would be the best way to
evaluate whether or not this would be a good decision for UCLA.
Genius, I thought. I decided to conduct an informal poll to see
how well-received my plan would be.
“Advertisements would really ruin Royce Hall, but I would
definitely be OK with them putting it on Bunche, since it’s
already the ugliest building in the world,” first-year
bioengineering student Marina Vigen said.
Aha! A supporter!
Maher Abdel-Sattar, a molecular, cell and developmental biology
student, said, “As long as it doesn’t hurt the nice
buildings like Royce, who cares?”
Amen, Abdel-Sattar. Amen.
There were a few people who voiced concerns about walking
through a maze of ads to get to class.
But as soon as I asked them whether they would support the plan
if it generated enough revenue to lower their tuition, everyone I
spoke with answered with a cheerful, “Yeah.”
After conducting my unscientific survey, it was apparent that a
compromise could be reached. As long as the pretty buildings remain
unmarked, students would support advertising, as long as there was
a way to funnel at least part of the money to lowering tuition.
We could even go beyond that ““ entire departments could be
supported by advertising, without even tainting the buildings.
The psychology department could be sponsored by Paxil. Maybe Pat
Robertson could fund the “English Bible as Literature”
course. The possibilities are endless.
Despite all this sunny optimism about my hypothetical
fundraiser, there is still a Negative Nancy or two.
Dede Schaffner, a school board member in Florida, talked her
district out of selling the naming rights to school buildings.
“If we get to the point where you can put your name on a
school just because you have a fat wallet, that’s not
right,” she said. “I just wasn’t ready to sell
our soul.”
Sell your soul? What do you call working for decades just to pay
off the interest on your student loans? I’d rather sell my
soul than take out a mortgage on my life.
Anyway, no one wants to buy a soul ““ there’s no
demand in this day and age. A soul doesn’t pad
anybody’s wallet ““ but a Sony billboard? Now that could
rake in some profit.
To place a subliminal advertisement in Strickland’s
next column, e-mail her your best offer at
kstrickland@media.ucla.edu. Send general comments to
viewpoint@media.ucla.edu.