Earlier this month, I went to see “Theater of the New
Ear” at Royce Hall with a friend of mine who had recently
graduated from UCLA. As I expected, Charlie Kaufman’s sound
play was a clever mind game brilliantly executed by the actors and
composer Carter Burwell. But at one point during the performance,
my friend, who was moving to the East Coast later in the week,
exclaimed, “Why didn’t I come to any UCLA Live events
while I was at UCLA?” The question made me feel incredibly
unsettled because as a graduating senior (a fact I try not to dwell
on too much) I started to think about how temporary our time at
UCLA really is ““ unless, of course you’re on the Van
Wilder plan, as was a former neighbor of mine.
There are clearly certain things every UCLA student needs to do
before he or she graduates. Before you know it, you’ll be
holding your diploma and heading off to that entry-level job that
makes the manager’s paycheck at Red Robin something to envy.
And you don’t want to have regrets.
First, take advantage of all of the free concerts that come to
campus through Campus Events and the Cultural Affairs Commission
and the student tickets to UCLA Live Events at Royce. There are
some seriously good performances coming this year, with artists you
either want to see or want to be able to say you’ve seen,
unlike my aforementioned friend.
Second, go to Westwood Brewing Company to learn how to
appreciate Maloney’s. I’ll be more specific. Last
spring, a guy I was friends with and I decided we were tired of
Maloney’s and wanted to try somewhere new. But once inside
BrewCo, the bright, artificial lighting and quiet atmosphere made
us realize that not only could we clearly see each other, but we
were going to have to make actual conversation. We didn’t
even finish one round of vodka Red Bulls before we were running
back to that beloved corner of Gayley and Weyburn.
Third, explore the extensive tunnel system running under the
UCLA campus. Go down there late at night with a group of friends to
check it out. It’s rumored that you will get expelled if you
are found in the tunnels, and this possibility is more than enough
to get the adrenaline flowing. But for additional fun, make it
unnecessarily spooky by refusing to turn on the lights so you have
to go groping around in the dark. Believe me, it’s quite an
impressive fact to throw out to people at parties.
Fourth, attend at least one UCLA-USC football game. I know
it’s a pain to drag yourself all the way to the Coliseum or
the Rose Bowl, but it’s an experience you don’t want to
wait until after you graduate and have to sit in the alumni section
to have, and this is coming from a girl who has used maybe three of
the tickets I’ve gotten with the John Wooden plan during my
entire time at UCLA. (Who has a whole Saturday to dedicate to
sports when there are magazines to read and shopping to do?) Just
make sure you pregame so that your friends’ delusional
optimism about UCLA winning doesn’t bother you.
Fifth, run in the Undie Run. OK, I’ll admit that this is
something I actually have yet to do, but I’ve promised myself
that I will run in it before I graduate in the spring, even if it
means training to get ready for that run down and all the way back
up Landfair during finals week.
Finally, be a party crasher. You can’t walk to a party in
Westwood without passing at least one car full of desperate guys
driving around who call out, “Where’s the party
at?” to everyone they pass in the hope that someone will give
them an address. So one night when you’re bored and
don’t know where the parties are, grab a friend and follow
the sounds of music and drunk people to do some serious party
crashing, but pretend like you actually know where you are going.
Think of it as a cultural experience where you are becoming exposed
to UCLA students outside of your own social circle. And after
drinking a stranger’s alcohol, it can be more than a little
entertaining to make up things about yourself to a room full of
strangers that rival the idea that Michael Jackson is innocent.
Actually, on second thought, maybe I shouldn’t have
admitted to doing that last thing.
Want to find out if something Rodgers told you at a party
was actually true? E-mail her at jrodgers@media.ucla.edu.