A friend once told me that life is nothing but a series of
highly awkward moments. I initially thought this to be witty but
wholly untrue. Then I opened a conversation that night with the
timeless, “What’s your major?” and was met with
the equally timeless uneasy chuckle followed by the search for the
quickest possible exit. In all seriousness, there is no situation
that better exemplifies this than the one that many on the UCLA
campus are experiencing right now: orientation.
College orientation is an especially awkward time. You generally
walk in knowing few people and quickly rush to find those you most
identify with, then just as quickly try to meet as many people as
possible to gain some semblance of normalcy. This process is made
even more difficult if, like me, you somehow end up at the athlete
orientation session and, when asked by the athletes what you play,
you frown and respond, “jazz piano?”
Understandably, one of the only ways many people can think to
start a conversation with a complete stranger is to ask about
majors and hope a friendship develops around that. Incidentally,
this appears to be the only time at UCLA that opening a
conversation with “What’s your major?” is
socially acceptable. After orientation and Welcome Week, posing
this question, especially to the opposite sex, seems to be akin to
Ralph Wiggum asking Lisa Simpson if she likes stuff in the classic
episode of “The Simpsons,” “I Love
Lisa.”
But these proceedings are even more uncomfortable with the
addition of various getting-to-know-you games and activities that
you play with your orientation group. You know the drill: Go around
in a circle telling your name and something interesting about
yourself, perhaps toss a bean bag among yourselves while calling
out newly learned names.
This is all well and good, but there is a much easier way to
quickly find people you identify with and perhaps even form some
long-lasting friendships: Take a look at each other’s
iPods.
This may sound trite, but take a moment to seriously consider
it; it’s very difficult to find a better conversation starter
than a discussion of favorite music. Sure, you can always start an
intense conversation about politics and religion but, well, you
won’t always make any friends that way and more often than
not you will actually create some pretty awesome adversaries.
These days, with the proliferation of so many different MP3
players and the popularity of file sharing and music downloading,
more people listen to music than ever before. In a sense,
it’s almost a sure-fire way to break the ice.
As you can see, this is a great way to figure out the people
that you most identify with. So you’re a music-obsessed
lunatic with a 60 GB iPod filled to the brim with Cibo Matto, Sonic
Youth and Mogwai albums? Chances are you won’t really
identify with someone who has an iPod mini overflowing with dozens
of different remixes of “Freek-A-Leek” and
Usher’s “Yeah,” as well as the entire Three Doors
Down catalog.
Most importantly, talking about music can get you to talk to and
make friends with people you may not have given a second thought
about otherwise. A person may seem wholly uninteresting, but the
second they voice a shared love for one of your favorite bands, or
perhaps even something completely bizarre that piques your
interest, you suddenly have a beacon in the fog of awkward
moments.
So as you take part in orientation and go through the many
motions of meeting new people and making new friends, always be
sure to query people on their musical preferences. It’s a
perfectly acceptable introductory question when meeting a complete
stranger.
That is, unless it’s prefaced with “So, I know
we’ve never met, but I noticed on Facebook that you like some
interesting music …”
At that point, regaling your new friend with your ambitious
plans to double-major in aerospace engineering and public
administration could only be an improvement.
E-mail Humphrey at mhumphrey@media.ucla.edu.