The patchwork of t-shirts strung between the trees in Dickson
Plaza gives a stark vision of the reality of rape and abuse. Free
from the euphemisms and stereotypes that are often attached to rape
and sexual violence, the shirts bear frank descriptions of
survivors’ stories.
The shirts are made by survivors of sexual violence and abuse
and displayed by the UCLA Clothesline Project. Many are made at
UCLA, and some are made at the Santa Monica Rape Treatment Center
and the Sexual Assault Crisis Agency.
The Clothesline Project aims to help survivors and fight sexual
violence and abuse by educating the community about the reality of
rape.
One red shirt is designed around a black piece of fabric that
reads, “I have a secret.”
Around the fabric, a story is written in precise capital
letters. It reads: “I wasn’t strong enough. I
couldn’t stop him. His hand covered my mouth so hard that I
couldn’t even bite him. Am I dirty? What did I do to deserve
this? Was it my fault? Am I still a virgin? Did I lead him on? Do I
tell? Do I stay quiet? What now? Will they still love me if they
know? Will Dad think less of me? Oh God why me? What did I do? I
bled. I cry. I couldn’t get him off! So tired. So tired. So
weak. So little. Say goodbye to innocence.”
Then, in large blue letters: “It’s all behind me
now.”
Other shirts are more decorative or more brief, but all are
equally evocative.
One gray shirt features a large tear-filled eye and the words
“stop the violence.” A pink shirt reads, “My rape
wasn’t my fault and you aren’t to blame for yours
either.”
Students react to the shirts with a mixture of shock, sadness
and gratitude.
Some, like third-year economics and French student Mario Soto,
stare intently at the shirts and walk around as if in a daze.
“I’m really kind of surprised and shocked. There is
definitely a lot of pain concentrated in this general area,”
said Soto, adding that the display made him want to do something to
better the situation.
Many students shared Soto’s sentiment.
“It’s really sad,” said Daniel Sweet, a
first-year undeclared student. “I mean, I know that it
exists, but without something like this, I wouldn’t know that
it happens so often.”
The shirts are color-coded according to the experiences of their
creators.
Red, pink and orange are for survivors of rape, completed or
attempted sexual assault, or sexual battery; blue and green signify
incest, child sexual abuse and molestation; yellow and beige
signifies domestic violence; white shirts are made in memory of
people who were killed or committed suicide as a result of sexual
violence; brown is for survivors of ritual abuse; gray for
survivors of gang rape; purple and lavender for people who were
victimized for being or perceived to be gay, lesbian, bisexual or
transgender; black for sexual harassment; and multi-colored shirts
are for survivors of multiple types of abuse.
Natalia Schyfter was shocked by a more specific element of the
shirts.
“It freaks me out how (from) many of the shirts, you can
tell the women were raped by their father or a family
member,” Schyfter said.
Others, like third-year English student Amy Lau, called the
project important.
“It brings the issue a lot more close to home,” Lau
said. “It is really important that they have this out there.
People can express their stories and remain anonymous.”
But the Clothesline Project is not a passive display.
Clothesline Project members run a discussion group on one side of
the quad, and nearby is a tent where survivors can make shirts.
Project members and other volunteers also give out information on
sexual violence, the project, the Santa Monica Rape Treatment
Center and Planned Parenthood, and sell buttons they made to raise
money for the project.
The clothesline will be up today until 4 p.m., and from 5 p.m.
to 10 p.m. tonight Clothesline Project members will run an event
called “Take Back the Night” in De Neve Plaza, which
will include music, speakers, a speak out and a march through
Westwood.
Alexis Flyer, a third-year political science student and
chairwoman of the “Take Back the Night” committee, said
this year’s Clothesline Project has been a success so far,
but in this context success is a relative term.
“It’s been amazing; we have had so many people come
out to volunteer and many people come out to look at the line, but
it is always a mix of emotions,” Flyer said. “It is
great to see people make shirts, to have access to that part of the
healing process and to have a safe place to come to, but it is sad
that so many people need it.”