This week is UCLA’s Women for Change Week, and one of the
major themes is sexual violence. While sexual violence is an issue
that affects all people, not just women, both the Clothesline
Project and the Take Back the Night March are meant to expose myths
and stereotypes about sexual assault and rape.
The Clothesline Project will be displaying their shirts in
Schoenberg Quad on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday of this week,
and Take Back the Night will be happening Thursday night.
When people are asked what they would do if they were raped,
many answer that they would go to the police. They’re going
to take this thing to the courts, they’re going to demand
justice.
But in reality, very few rape survivors ever report their
experiences. The reason ““ social myths and stereotypes.
Myths and stereotypes that lead people to doubt the stories of
rape survivors; Myths and stereotypes that lead defense attorneys
to paint the survivor as a slut who was asking for it; And myths
and stereotypes that result in juries believing this and again and
again letting the accused walk free.
According to a study conducted by the Department of Justice and
the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one in six women
have experienced an attempted or completed rape and one in 33 men
have been sexually assaulted . And about 84 percent of women who
have been raped never report it to the police. The Department of
Justice calls it “the most underreported violent crime in
America.”
They go unreported because survivors of sexual assault, be it
man or woman, are not only ashamed of what happened, but afraid of
the consequences if they come forward.
Many people assume that rape is something that happens late at
night, in dark alleyways, to some innocent school girl by some dark
and mysterious sex offender who prowls the streets with the sole
purpose of raping girls. A rapist could never be a boyfriend or a
girlfriend, a family member, let alone a husband or a wife ““
right?
Wrong.
Over 80 percent of rapes are committed by someone the survivor
knows personally. One in four occur in the survivor’s home.
And about 12 percent of women survivors and 30 percent of men
survivors are raped by an intimate.
As well as the misconceptions surrounding stranger rape, many
people think that women are just asking to be raped by the clothes
they choose to wear, or the places they choose to go. But there is
never an excuse or an invitation for rape.
A friend of mine likes to use a car analogy to explain this one.
If you parked your expensive car somewhere, and it got broken into,
were you asking for it? Who’s fault was it? Obviously not
yours ““ and it’s no different when it comes to
rape.
On top of that, believing that what women wear causes them to be
raped is offensive to men. It assumes men can’t control
themselves, and that if you get a pretty pair of legs in front of
them they become animalistic and uncontainable.
But rape is not about sexual attraction, it’s about power
and control. Once people realize this, the rest becomes
irrelevant.
Sometimes, people even think women scream rape when they wind up
in a situation they don’t like, or for monetary gain. But
while the number of false rape accusations is difficult to assess,
it has been said to be around 2 percent, roughly the same as for
any other crime.
Just imagine if you (God forbid) were raped or sexually
assaulted. You come back to your room and tell your roommate, and
the first thing she or he says is, “Well, what were you doing
wearing that?” And when you eventually go to trial, the
defense team pulls up details of your sexual history (just like
they did in the Kobe Bryant case) and use it to prove that (uh oh)
you have sex on a regular basis.
Obvious proof that you have sex with anyone anywhere ““
right? Wrong.
It’s difficult enough to go through the experience, but to
be met with disbelief after the fact is just wrong. Rape is
probably one of the most physically humiliating and emotionally
damaging experiences anyone can go through. And it’s just as
painful for a sex worker as it is for a virgin. Someone is taking
advantage of someone else’s body, taking complete control
over it. And it needs to stop.
It’s important to know this and remember how difficult it
is to be a survivor. Many choose never to come forward, and while
some reveal their stories to friends, they may decide not to go to
the authorities or attempt to demand justice. With the current
situation, this is completely understandable. When going to trial
only brings back memories and invites both the defense attorney and
your friends to accuse you of being at fault, it’s a painful
and emotionally degrading experience.
If you’re not a survivor, the best thing you can do is
declare yourself an ally. And if someone does reveal a story to
you, listen, believe them, and support their decision, whatever it
might be.
If you would like to join Loewenstein at Take Back the Night
and the Clothesline, e-mail her at
lloewenstein@media.ucla.edu.