Some of the most heated conversations I’ve had about sex
have involved anal sex. The idea of getting pleasure from this
particular orifice just freaks some people out.
As one blushing male said, “But, just like … you know,
there’s … stuff up there.”
But seriously, I’ve heard everything from
“it’s gay” to “it’s just not
natural.” A lot of people just shut their minds completely to
the possibility of anal pleasure without even a thought to
experimentation.
But the pro-anal camp does have a few good pointers ““ the
anus is the home to many nerve endings, provides a direct route to
the prostate gland in men, and is interconnected with pelvic
muscles that are involved in orgasm.
Obviously, if you really don’t want to try it,
don’t. The bedroom (or any spot your mischievous mind can
come up with) is all about having fun and being comfortable. But if
you’re comfortable enough, anal stimulation and anal sex can
spice things up a little.
And you won’t be alone if you do find pleasure up your
behind. While fewer people participate in it on a regular basis,
about 35 percent of heterosexual adults have had anal sex in their
lifetime.
After all, the anus has many erotic possibilities ““ oral
stimulation (rimming or analingus), fingering, fisting or
penis-to-anus intercourse.
In terms of sensitivity to sexual stimulation, the anus is
second only to the genitals, so I’m sure you can see the
pleasurable possibilities of oral and finger stimulation. And the
muscles in the rectum that are interconnected with the pelvis are
where the pleasures of pressure from penetration comes from.
Also, some people simply get pleasure from situations and acts
because they’re taboo and considered dirty, so if you happen
to be one of these people you’ve found your oasis.
And yes, sexual pleasure, and even orgasms, can be derived from
anal sex.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again ““
it’s been well advertised that men achieve the most intense
(and perhaps even multiple) orgasms when they are anally
stimulated. It’s all about that prostate gland, lovingly
nicknamed the “male G-spot.”
So, now that you’re undoubtedly quite horny, it’s
time for a quick tutorial on how to have anal intercourse, or any
form of anal penetration.
Rule No. 1: Lube, lube, lube. Unfortunately, unlike the
inimitable vagina, the anus produces no natural lubricant. So,
unless pain gets you off, you might want to invest in a little
slip-n-slide grease.
Rule No. 2: Patience. The anal muscles will go into spasms when
something (whether it be a finger, penis or toy) is inserted. If
you don’t wait for this to stop, it will be painful for the
person being penetrated. .
Rule No. 3: Start small. This intimate act may take some getting
used to, so start with something smaller, such as a finger or small
buttplug.
Rule No. 4: Be clean. Take a bath together first (foreplay makes
everyone happy), or if you’re really worried about the
cleanliness factor take an enema. While some think this is
disgusting and detracts from the pleasure of anal sex, a few even
find the enemas themselves sexually stimulating.
Rule No. 5: Be safe. Sexually transmitted diseases are most
easily transmitted through anal sex, so a condom is essential for
the safety of both partners. And no enema or douche will get rid of
everything, so to stop bacteria and infections, it’s smart to
pull out your not-yet-expired latex friend.
And lastly, just relax and have fun with yourself and whoever
may be joining you. Anal sex should not be painful ““
it’s a stretchy orifice if you learn to relax it. It’s
important to communicate with your partner and you should always be
ready and comfortable enough to tell them to stop.
If you still aren’t ready to experiment with anal
intercourse, don’t shut out all forms of anal stimulation.
Your body is there to provide pleasure, so you might as well use it
in every way possible.
Just remember ““ shower, soap and nail clippers are
essential.
If you’re ready to break rule No. 3, e-mail Lara at
lloewenstein@media.ucla.edu.