Everyone loves the underdog; it’s an appeal that will
probably never die. It’s so much more fun to root for the guy
who gets picked on or the football team that hasn’t won a
game in 14 seasons because when they finally do manage to win and
lift themselves out of their ridiculously dumpy situation, somehow
we all feel that much more accomplished ourselves.
And for a while there, Kirstie Alley couldn’t have been
any dumpier.
Everybody used to know her name in a good way (from
“Cheers”), but ever since her three-year stint on
“Veronica’s Closet,” a few fatal movies and a weight
gain any county-fair-pie-eating-contest winner can empathize with,
she’s become about as cool as Jaime Foxx’s new head
tattoo.
The tabloids trashed her: They mercilessly featured her on the
cover of US Weekly and In Touch on almost a bi-weekly basis. There
would be pictures of her with her kids eating cheeseburgers at
McDonald’s by the handful, making sure we all knew that her
desire to remain healthy was about as absent as Jennifer
Lopez’s singing talent at the Grammys. And there was that
time when they took a horribly candid shot of her back side, stuck
it on the cover and branded it with a large headline announcing
“Kirstie Alley ““ Too Fat For Sex!”
When you are too fat for sex, I think it’s safe to say
you’re the underdog.
So in an attempt to shed her loser status, she’s coming
back with her show “Fat Actress,” about an overweight
actress trying to make a comeback.
There definitely hasn’t been a show with more hype then
this one, which is set to premiere Monday on Showtime. In fact,
I’m pretty sure I first heard rumors of the show almost a
year ago, and ever since then I’ve been totally excited. (I
love to root for the underdog too ““ maybe I voted Clay Aiken
one or two times; so what?)
In fact, I really like Alley. She’s still beautiful, and
her “I’m huge and I don’t give a crap”
attitude has always been more than refreshing. As she said in a
recent interview about the unflattering photos, “Bring it on.
There couldn’t be any better publicity (for “˜Fat
Actress’) than this.”
But just because she’s back doesn’t mean her show is
any good.
Sure, it’s being billed as a semi-biography, but from the
clips I’ve seen so far, it seems to go further than that
““ almost uncomfortably further. There’s clearly no
question that she’s playing herself. She makes references to
her own real-life career. She even talks about making a deal with
Jenny Craig in the first episode (something Alley has also done).
And along with that real-life character comes a lot of her own
little quirks, most notably the fact that she’s often kind of
a diva, and not in a very good way. I know she’s trying to be
relatable to all of us out there unhappy with how we look (read:
everyone), but when I’m feeling down I can’t turn to
John Travolta and beg him to do another sequel to “Look Who’s
Talking” to rebuild my career and accompanying self-esteem.
Alley can.
She’s trying to teach us that it’s OK to be fat, but
the only lesson I’m hearing from all this is that when
you’re too fat to be deemed talented by mainstream media, the
only answer is to make a joke of yourself.
I guess we’ll all have to wait to see if Alley can provide
us with a real solution. Those of us without Showtime will have to
wait even longer, but I’m calling it now ““ her show is
eventually going to flop if she exploits fat people in the same way
“Queer Eye” used gays and Donald Trump used
business-school graduates.
I know she’s not the first to do it; Hollywood has been
laughing with (at) fat people forever. I just hope there’s
more at the end of her punch lines than some Weight Watchers and
words like “jolly.”
Because you’re not a good underdog unless somebody’s
rooting for you.
E-mail Scott at jscott@media.ucla.edu.