When handed midterms, make sorbet

Midterms drain a person, body and soul. While it would probably
be smart to eat well and get enough sleep the night before an
important test, look around. You’re in college. Going the
healthy route is clearly not going to happen.

The second-best thing to do, then, is to plan a sweet treat that
will be ready when your test is over. It should be very easy to
make. That way, even if your midterm goes badly, you can come home
and feel very competent as you eat something delicious of your own
making.

Lemon-buttermilk sorbet is impossible to get wrong. It’s
tangy and sweet and has only three ingredients. All you have to do
is mix it up and pour it into a lidded container. Then, while the
sorbet spends all night freezing, you can spend all night
studying.

Here’s how it should all go down:

Wait until the night before your test to figure out what
material you’re required to know.

Decide that 12 hours is definitely enough time to review five
weeks’ worth of reading. Reward yourself for this revelation
by taking a break: It’s time to make some food.

Rinse one lemon thoroughly.

Zest it ““ using the smallest holes in a cheese grater,
shred the yellow peel into a medium mixing bowl. Stop grating when
you hit the white layer of the rind, as this part is bitter and
disgusting.

You can even skip the zest if you’re in a hurry, which, of
course, you are. There’s studying to be done. … Actually,
you’ve got a few extra minutes you can spare. In five years
nobody will remember this midterm, but good food is forever.

Glance into the living room. Why is your roommate watching Joan
and Melissa on the TV Guide Channel? Doesn’t he have a test
tomorrow, too?

“Takin’ it pass/no pass, dude,” he reassures
you.

Using the lemon you zested, squeeze half a cup of juice.

Wait, you don’t have time for that. Send your roommate to
the market for a bottle of lemon juice. (He still owes you for the
Lost Puppy Incident.) He’ll take his precious time, but you
can spend it calculating what you’re going to study first,
how long it will take you, and how much sleep you can get.

Don’t actually open a book ““ you’ve got all
night for that.

When he gets back, pour half a cup of the juice into the
bowl.

Add a cup of sugar to the bowl with the lemon.

If you don’t sleep at all tonight, you’ll have so
much more study time ““ it’s brilliant.

Add two cups of buttermilk. Stir for two minutes, until the
sugar dissolves. Do not under any circumstances use regular milk in
place of buttermilk because it will curdle and the sorbet will be
ruined.

Pour the creamy, yellow-flecked contents of the bowl into a
lidded container. Snap the cover on tightly and toss the container
into the freezer.

Now it’s time to get down to business. Read the same
paragraph over and over again until you realize you haven’t
processed a single word.

Maybe if you just took a little nap, you could wake up
super-early to read. Yes. Sounds good.

Jolt into consciousness half an hour before your midterm starts.
Skim your notes feverishly and race to the classroom, buying a blue
book along the way.

After an hour of clueless scrawling, stumble dazedly back into
your apartment to find your grinning, sticky-mouthed roommate
asleep on the couch.

“I finished your ice cream, dude, so I bought you another
one,” he mumbles.

Neapolitan isn’t the same thing at all, but it was nice of
him to make the effort.

Raab knows frozen desserts and "B" are the right answers to
everything. E-mail her at lraab@media.ucla.edu.

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