It’s almost Valentine’s Day. Again. And so the
question pops up for nearly everyone: What should I do?
I could tell you to finally ask your crush out on a date, or I
could say to find a single friend to be your Valentine so you
won’t be without a special someone on Valentine’s
Day.
I could recommend hosting or attending an anti-Valentine’s
Day soiree for singles only. Or I could suggest a romantic dinner
for two with your sweetheart.
But none of these ideas are new. It’s all been done and
redone before. Everything about Valentine’s Day is cliche
““ you just can’t have it any other way.
And even the position I am about to present to you today is
cliche. But what can I do? I’m stuck in the middle of
February with no way to discuss Valentine’s Day that
hasn’t already been iterated.
What’s worse, even saying that V-Day is cliche is a tired
statement. I feel stuck in an abyss of roses and violets (you know
the colors) with Hallmark cards plastering the walls.
All I can do is submit to the uncontrollable urge and pen a
poem. Ugh.
Oh, Valentine’s Day, how we feel torn by you. Let me
recount the ways.
I can’t think of any other holiday that is so vehemently
hated. It’s fairly ironic that a day set up to celebrate love
is routinely loathed by so many who feel inadequate because they
don’t have a significant other.
Valentine’s Day simultaneously serves as an excuse to go
out and shower loved ones with candy, gifts and praise, and to make
single people feel unfairly singled out.
V-Day celebrations are also unfair to the fledgling
relationship. The day increases stress (may cause ulcers), can
force “definition” into a thing just beginning or can
result in incomparable gift-giving. It rarely works out perfectly,
and when it does, there is still anxiety and stress leading up to
it.
The only people for whom Valentine’s Day is easy are those
in relationships. And quite frankly, these people don’t need
another designated day they’re required to “make
special.”
There are already enough holidays to attend to in a relationship
““ birthdays, anniversaries and the winter holiday season. Do
we really need another prescribed day of gift-giving?
Again, it’s been said before, but shouldn’t you be
telling loved ones how you feel on a regular basis? Unexpected
cards, flowers and candy are much nicer on any other day ““
and yet if they’re not given on Feb. 14, someone feels let
down.
Sadly, the best Valentine’s Days are those we remember
with nostalgia and glee ““ the elementary school years
decorated with perforated cards and cartoon characters, and
sweetened by candy hearts and frosted cookies.
It was a time when the holiday didn’t discriminate because
everyone was directed to give notes to every single person in the
class.
So even if the valentine from your crush didn’t say
“be mine,” at least you had something with both your
names on it, and an opportunity to extrapolate the meaning from a
cheesy card to in some way support your belief that your crush felt
the way you did.
Those first Valentine’s Days were about the simple things
““ the joy of personalizing a paper bag “mailbox”
and sitting down with the utmost excitement to read through your
valentines.
My one piece of Valentine’s Day advice I don’t think
you’ve heard in a while?
Be careful with those frosted cookies and chocolate kisses.
Cupid’s arrow can often hit the stomach with a big ol’
tummy ache.
Bonos is the 2004-2005 managing editor, who’s still a
kid at heart. E-mail her at lbonos@media.ucla.edu to reminisce
about your fifth-grade crush.