I often hear students bemoaning their single status with the
cry: “It’s so hard to meet people!”
The problem is, many of us are looking in the wrong places.
If you’re tired of getting picked up at a bar or of having
trouble making conversation at a party, you might try taking an
alternative approach.
There are plenty of nontraditional places to meet people ““
all you have to do is talk to intriguing people everywhere, and not
just at classic pick-up spots.
Hitting on someone in a setting where it’s expected often
doesn’t work because your target anticipates it. Girls are
trained to be skeptical ““ and with good reason ““ of
guys trying to dance with them in clubs or buy them drinks at
bars.
We’ve seen the sleaze ““ and it overwhelms any bit of
quality that may be roaming the bar or party.
But your chances of being received as endearing and sincere
double in a spot where most are not visibly on the prowl.
A key nontraditional meeting place is somewhere you probably go
to weekly or even more ““ the grocery store.
Whether you’re going on a large shopping trip or just
picking up some milk for tomorrow’s breakfast, there’s
a chance you could pick up a friendly face as well.
There are an abundance of conversation topics that could blossom
in the grocery store: remarking on how long the line is, helping a
cutie pick out a watermelon or lamenting the fact that some item
you both want is disappointingly absent from the shelves.
Even if your conversation doesn’t lead to action, any
instance of flirting ““ fruitful or not ““ boosts the
confidence and tests your spontaneous conversational skills. You
can’t use a canned pick-up line in a creative setting, so
your chance of success increases.
I’m not promoting asking out everyone you come across
““ but instead, just talking to those who spark your interest.
If you happen to run into them often, you can make a move without
looking too eager and scaring off your target.
Aside from the grocery store there are other places to meet
someone: your apartment complex, a dorm building or the dining
hall. A stranger may even fall for the sweet line, “Hey,
honey, can I borrow your honey?” It will at least get you a
chuckle.
And there’s always the elevator. It’s small, often
empty, and there’s not much going on, so conversation is
easily sparked. A girl in my hall freshman year met a guy in the
elevator, and they ended up dating for a few months.
The gym is also a possibility, although only when tastefully
done, and usually not on first sight. The gym pick-up is slightly
cliche, so you might want to initiate conversation and make a move
only if you’ve known each other longer than one workout
session.
And don’t ask someone out for coffee while sweating
profusely ““ go for something healthy and refreshing like a
smoothie, or offer a walk home.
I have to admit, it is hard to think of alternative pick-up
places. Wednesday evening I roamed Ackerman Union talking to
strangers and looking for answers ““ and got a few good
ones.
Erin Rectenwald, a liberal studies and piano student at Sonoma
State University in Northern California, was at UCLA visiting her
boyfriend. She recommends the ski lift as a likely meeting place,
and notes the benefit of being bundled up. “For those
unattractive people,” she said, “put on a ski
mask.”
Fourth-year electrical engineering student Beli Soriano suggests
going the studious route and making a move at the library.
“If (you’re) doing the same subject, say, “˜Oh,
I’m screwed in this class too. Let’s study
together,'” Soriano said.
And while UCLA’s lack of public transportation can limit
the extent of public interaction, Super Shuttle can get you to the
airport and provide you with new friendships.
Fifth-year mechanical engineering student Jason Chui rode Super
Shuttle with a girl once and has coincidentally been on three
flights with her.
Chui said he was so struck by the coincidence of being on the
same flight with someone three times that he felt like he should
get to know her.
Chui also volunteers on the Dance Marathon committee, which got
me thinking ““ the Dance Marathon could be a good place to
meet someone. You have a whole 26 hours to make a move, with plenty
of chances to ask someone to dance.
Bonos is the 2004-2005 managing editor. E-mail her at
lbonos@media.ucla.edu if you come to the Viewpoint page often. Send
general comments to viewpoint@media.ucla.edu.