They say you can never count on a sure thing.
This is never more true than around the time when the Oscar
nominations come out. Every year at 5:30 a.m. West Coast time, the
president of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences gets
us all out of bed to announce who’s nominated to receive the
most famous big screen achievement. And moments later, the winners
are predicted by critics, fans and know-it-alls everywhere.
This, by far, is my least favorite part of the whole ordeal.
Sure, everyone has a right to make predictions, but some years
the Oscars become so predictable that the fun of the whole thing is
sucked out. Now, I know it would be lame if every year was
chock-full of upsets and underdog victories. If SpongeBob stole the
best actor award away from Don Cheadle’s struggle to survive
African rebellion in “Hotel Rwanda,” even I would be
mildly upset. But without small surprises like that, the annual
crowning event of the movie industry would be completely
uninspiring.
So as for me, I was doing something totally different than
listening to radio announcements at 5:30 a.m. that morning. No, I
wasn’t sleeping like I should have been doing as the
semi-devoted student I am; and no, I wasn’t stumbling out of
the bed of some frat guy trying to find my pants so I could head
off down the street on my own infamous “walk of
shame.”
Instead, I was sitting in my room, guided only by the light
generated from my computer screen, involved in an intense bidding
war on that Internet auction site called eBay. You see, I’m a
big fan of television. Canadian television, to be exact. So when I
stumbled across some guy on eBay the other day auctioning off a
T-shirt signed by one of the cast members from my all-time favorite
Canadian TV show ever, “Degrassi: TNG,” I had to have
it.
The only problem was that the auction had started a few days
before I found the little piece of heaven, and it would be coming
to a close right around 5:34 a.m. Oh, the things I’ll do for
Canada.
My opponent, a 13-year-old girl by the username of
“baby_princess_gurl_13,” who most likely thought the
size-small black shirt was hers, having placed the first bet on it
when the auction first started days before.
I, however, was determined to catch the little brat by surprise.
So, as the sun began to peak over the hills of Westwood, with only
mere minutes to go in the auction, I took her $35 bid and raised
her to $45. I could almost feel the shirt in my hands, and smell
the sweet scent of Canada as I put the shirt on in my mind.
But before I could count my victory, and with only 30 seconds
left, the little girl was back, and to my shock had raised the bid
to $49. Apparently, she was more determined to win this than I
thought.
Of course, her dreams were shattered a few minutes later when
she was sent an e-mail notifying her that I, had again, raised the
bid and beat her by a single dollar. Talk about taking candy from a
baby.
Still, despite her loss, I think my little-princess-girl-friend
learned an important lesson that morning: Nothing in life is
guaranteed. And, just like how her eBay gamble may have seemed like
a sure win at first, I can only hope this year’s nominee list
won’t dictate who will win Oscar gold in every category.
Sure, there’s hundreds of those little golden bald men
statues, but there’s only one black “Degrassi”
shirt signed by Jake Epstein. Or, at least I think there’s
only one. Hopefully, Jake doesn’t sign all his own shirts in
his spare time.
As for me, I learned something even more valuable. Around Oscar
time, while nobody wants to go home empty handed, it doesn’t
mean you should pay $50 for a T-shirt.
Got other ways to make 13-year-old girls cry? E-mail Scott
at jscott@media.ucla.edu.