I had been resisting the trend for months. I knew
“everyone was doing it,” and most loved the rush it
provided, but I just couldn’t bring myself to join the
Facebook.
I had tried Friendster and found it pretty cold since I ““
gasp ““ enjoy making friends in person and not over the
Internet. For months, I wrote off the Facebook as a waste of time.
But all the talk of “poking,” amassing friends, and the
virtual groups being formed among my friends made me curious. Maybe
the Facebook could be worth a try.
Moments after signing on, I was hooked. When I should have been
studying for finals, I was spending hours making friend requests to
practically everyone I knew. When I woke up the next morning, I was
pleased to see I had over 60 friends, and there were still more to
“confirm.”
As I quickly got hooked on the Facebook, I wondered: Does
anybody use this thing to hook up?
I wasn’t in the virtual community for whatever I could
get. I didn’t even have intentions of meeting new people. I
just wanted to raise my friend count like everyone else, and
reunite with a high-school friend or two.
I knew the Facebook was popular, but I didn’t grasp the
immensity of the network until I realized most everyone really is
on there. 12,309 current UCLA students have Facebook profiles.
That’s about a third of the entire student body!
And many of them are looking for love ““ or a random
hook-up. As of press time Thursday evening, 25.6 percent of the
4,892 UCLA males’ profiles stated they were looking for
whatever they can get via the Facebook, 24 percent want a date, 23
percent are seeking random play, and 19 percent desire
relationships. (Note to those unfamiliar with the Facebook: You can
select more than one option so it’s possible for one
person’s profile to include all of the above.)
Interestingly, the numbers on the female side reject the
stereotype that women are only interested in relationships, as only
9 percent have included in their profile that they’re looking
for a relationship by way of the Facebook contact. Fourteen percent
say they want to date, and nearly the same amount are looking for
whatever they can get or random play.
Those already in relationships hovers around 20 percent for both
genders.
And while these numbers attest to an interest in dating or
hooking up through participation in the Facebook, I wouldn’t
suggest it. Rather than using the Facebook to find dates, use it as
a way to do a background check on potential dates.
In fact, for those who are still skeptical about the Facebook, I
suggest joining for the sole purpose of information-gathering. Some
may call it stalking, but I call it smart dating.
Before the avenues of Friendster and the Facebook, Google was
the Internet sleuth’s main source of information. If the
person you were looking for was Web-savvy enough to have a personal
site or newsworthy enough to be written up somewhere, you could
find it and read it.
You may be able to find someone’s occupation or phone
number, but Google generally can’t provide a person’s
favorite bands, hobbies or what their friends have to say about
them. The Facebook allows you to see the person you’re
researching, who they’re friends with, and what groups they
belong to on the network.
You could discover your crush is friends with a girl in your
math class or works at the Dykstra front desk. It’s OK to
“lose” your key in order to find a conversation with a
stranger, or invite a special someone over ““ and have a quart
of their favorite ice cream flavor waiting in the fridge.
And since getting what you want in life really does hinge on who
you know, getting with the one you want can be facilitated by
having friends in common. Just don’t make your first move by
sending a “request a relationship” e-mail to your
object of desire before you’ve officially dated or even
met.
And as if breaking up by e-mail or Instant Messenger
wasn’t bad enough, the Facebook offers a new low in low
break-up methods. You can “cancel” an existing
relationship with one click while updating your profile, sending a
formerly significant other a cold form e-mail.
A Facebook profile really does say a lot about someone. A
sprawling profile may mean its creator is quite a talker, a sparse
one may reflect a quiet and private personality ““ or just a
lack of time or interest. The groups listed on a person’s
profile say a lot about them as well.
For example, if you hate Valentine’s Day and discussing
your feelings, you may not fit with a member of the Born a Romantic
group. If you voted for Bush, you probably won’t get very far
with someone in the I Would Never Fuck a Republican group. If
you’re attracted to Powell and a member of the group
There’s Something About the Library, your finals week this
quarter could be a tad more exciting.
The list goes on.
Among groups started and populated by UCLA students, a number of
them are revealing, including Engineers are Sexy People, Too Horny
to Sleep, Pornaholics Anonymous and My Breasts Are Larger Than My
Head Society. The groups are worth a laugh ““ and a look,
especially if you’re chasing one of their members.
So what are you waiting for? Start a group called I Sign On to
Look Up My Crush, and who knows, you may find a potential mate
among the members. After all, you’ll have at least one thing
in common.
Bonos is the 2004-2005 managing editor. E-mail her at
lbonos@media.ucla.edu with your stories of the Facebook success or
failure.