I have some friends on the other side. They’ve graduated
and gone off to the real world ““ where they have full-time
jobs, long commutes, fewer roommates and even single bedrooms. But
there are also fewer date prospects, they say, and more free time
to date.
So I started wondering if the UCLA social scene really holds the
pinnacle of possibilities. It’s always depressing to think
whatever moment you’re in is the best you’ll ever see,
so for a while, I pushed the thought of post-college socializing
from my mind since I wasn’t there quite yet.
But as graduation is rapidly approaching for the class of 2005
and every quarter seems faster than the preceding 10 weeks, I
decided it was time to consult my peers.
Will we be trading in social butterfly wings for a snail’s
sluggish pace come June? Will relocations to denser cities where
you can drink outside your ‘hood ““ and take the subway
home instead of conning someone to be a designated driver ““
ultimately be disappointing if it’s harder to find someone
worthy to bring home? And even scarier, will it be hard enough to
find platonic partners, let alone romantic ones, in a professional
environment?
Dan Gould, a third-year microbiology, immunology and molecular
genetics student, holds a strong fatalist view of college dating
opportunities.
“If you don’t meet someone in college, you’re
screwed,” he said. But Gould admits that he’s not
looking for a life-long commitment while in college.
“I’m dating this Hooters girl now, and it’s just
for sex,” he said with a smile.
Both Gould and Anusha Kalbasi, a third-year biochemistry
student, said they think dating is a dying art, especially when
college students have the Greek system and dorm living to make
social geography the main factor in finding a mate.
“In college, there’s proximity and ease of access.
After (college), people need to get out of their comfort
zone,” Kalbasi said.
He explains that this more distant process ““ meeting
people in bars, getting phone numbers and actually calling ““
is hard for grads who are used to having social opportunities
handed to them in the form of college bars, classes and
parties.
But for some, the UCLA acronym doesn’t always stand for
“you see love, absolutely.”
Stephanie Craig, a fourth-year world arts and culture student,
predicts she’ll fare better after graduation when she returns
home to a suburb of Kansas City.
“I don’t feel there are a lot of quality guys at
UCLA. Midwest guys are nicer,” she said.
Iori Omura, a fourth-year sociology student, also thinks
he’ll have better luck with the ladies after college. A
transfer student and a self-described homebody, Omura faults
UCLA’s size as a deterrent to finding meaningful
relationships.
“I tried, but for the most part, not much luck,” he
said.
As an eternal optimist, I’m inclined to conclude that it
will be possible to happily date without Maloney’s, Brew Co.,
apartment parties on Kelton Avenue, Margarita Mondays and hot
TAs.
I want to reassure you that life outside the collegiate bubble
really will be OK. I want to hold your hand and tell you it will be
better than OK ““ with more dates than your planner can
handle, an end to mind games and mixed messages, and sexy prospects
around every corner.
But on second thought, you could just head to Chili’s
happy hour, hit on your waiter, and savor the time you have
left.
Bonos is the 2004-2005 managing editor. E-mail her at
lbonos@media.ucla.edu if you want to be a college kid when
you’re all grown up and graduated.