It’s a little early, and it probably won’t be
recognized in most states, but Nov. 13 should be designated
Ol’ Dirty Bastard Day. Since he passed away on Saturday, ODB
fans across the country have been reminiscing not only about his
contributions to the musical world, but also about how endearingly
crazy the guy was (not in any clinical or legal sense of the word,
of course). Ol’ Dirty Bastard ““ or at least his public
persona ““ was completely nuts. And I mean that in a good
way.
We’ve all got that one friend who’s way out there,
someone who plays by rules not exactly familiar to society. The one
your parents might call “eccentric.” The one
you’d go with to, say, the zoo, for the sole and secret
purpose of watching whatever might unfold.
To fans, Ol’ Dirty Bastard (aka Big Baby Jesus aka Osirus
aka Unique Ason aka Joe Bannanas aka Dirt McGirt aka Dirt Dog)
represented that friend, or, more specifically, what that friend
would sound like if he made half-sung rap music with lots of kung
fu samples.
And no doubt he made some great music. To date, he remains the
only person to ever rhyme “diarrhea” with
“gonorrhea” and make it sound cool. One of my personal
favorite moments is his string of shout outs at the end of “I
Can’t Wait”: “I wanna give a shout out to the
Eskimos/ I wanna give a shout out to the submarines. …
Y’all playin’ my music/ in the submarines and the
boats/ Play that sh– know what I’m sayin’?” We
didn’t, but we loved it anyway. And if I ever happen to be on
a submarine, I know what I’ll be bumpin’.
His appearances in the public eye were no less outrageous. This
is a man who:
Was in and out of court for everything from shoplifting to
making terrorist threats;
Fell asleep in court and, during another hearing, called a
female prosecutor a “sperm donor;”
Performed at a Wu-Tang record-release party despite being a
fugitive from the law for escaping rehab, and still managed to get
away from the police who surrounded the show;
Picked up food stamps ““ with MTV cameras following him
““ with some of his children (he allegedly has 13) in a
limousine;
After rescuing a 4-year-old girl trapped under a car, jumped on
stage during Shawn Colvin’s Grammy acceptance speech, grabbed
the microphone from her and declared “Wu-Tang is for the
children!”
There’s a memorable quote in the movie “The Big
Lebowski” where the narrator describes Jeff Bridges (the
Dude) as “quite possibly the laziest man in Los Angeles
County. Which would place him high in the runnin’ for laziest
worldwide.”
Well, ODB was the craziest cat in the Wu-Tang Clan. The same
Wu-Tang Clan that includes Ghostface Killah aka Ironman (who once
began a chorus with “this rappin’s like Ziti,
facin’ me real TV/ Crash at high speeds, strawberry
kiwi”), Raekwon the Chef (“cookin’ up some
marvelous sh– to get your mouth waterin'”) and the RZA
aka Bobby Digital (who recorded “Ode to O-ren Ishii”
for “Kill Bill ““ “Half Chinese, half Japanese,
half American/ Oh, what a species”). I’ll leave it to
you to consider the significance of that in terms of “Big
Lebowski” logic.
If the world were perfect, every Nov. 13 from now on would be
ODB day. To celebrate, everyone should make a point of doing
something totally outrageous that day. I’m not advocating any
illegal activities, of course. Something more along the lines of
April Fool’s, but instead of saying “April
Fool’s,” we’ll shout some Ol’ Dirty Bastard
quotable, like “shimmy shimmy ya, shimmy yam, shimmy
yay.” And instead of pulling practical jokes, we’ll do
stuff like save some kid’s life and then let everyone know
that, indeed, Wu-Tang is for the children. Because the world just
got a little less fun Saturday.
E-mail Lee at alee2@media.ucla.edu.