I could not be more glad that Nov. 2, Election Day, is behind
us.
Sure, I’m all about voting and maintaining my commitment
to democracy, but we all know the reason I was really keeping such
a close eye on the 2004 race for the White House: I love drama.
And there was nothing on television for the last few months that
could match the drama of the epic Kerry v. Bush showdown.
So now that the polls have closed on one of the closest
elections in modern American history, where are television viewers
to look for our daily dose of backstabbing and betrayal?
Lucky for us, Fox’s “The O.C.” is returning
after its summerlong hiatus, and the timing couldn’t be more
appropriate. For those like myself, who watch “The
O.C.” with more fanaticism than Howard Dean had in his Iowa
concession speech, you’ll understand exactly why this
groundbreaking show is the perfect replacement for the excitement
of the now-passed presidential election.
Of course, for those of us not as familiar with Fox’s
melodrama of disgustingly wealthy and overly sexualized high school
socialites, you had better tune in to tonight’s premiere if
you don’t want to be pegged a social outcast and shunned from
college life entirely.
Just remember one thing when you hear your friends chatting
about last night’s episode: There’s not much difference
between the characters on “The O.C.” and the characters
in the 2004 election. It’s just that on “The
O.C.,” everything is more local, the people are more
attractive and the issues are much less pivotal.
Taking the place of President Bush will easily be Ryan, since
both are the rebel type who use their fists to solve problems
rather than their words.
John Kerry will be played by Seth, the
cute-but-in-a-really-geeky way neighbor who you never noticed until
he started hanging out with Ryan.
Taking the place of Teresa Heinz is Summer, the rich snob who
nobody liked at first, but eventually became lovable despite her
strong personality. The similarities are ridiculous.
Anna, arguably the most likable character whose unwarranted
departure upset audiences everywhere, would have to be the elusive
once-presidential hopeful John McCain.
And the Bush daughters will have to take form in Marissa, whose
battle with alcohol was at first the subject of many episodes, but
eventually got overlooked when audiences got bored with it. But you
know it’s still there.
I could go on and on, but if you still don’t believe me,
know this; Politicians are a lot more exciting when you have
someone to compare them to.
Want to talk politics? E-mail Scott at
jscott@media.ucla.edu.