He’s larger than Marlon Brando. He’s more rebellious
than James Dean. And he’s got more scales than Julie
Andrews’ vocal range.
There’s a new star in town, and he’s about to take
his place among some of Hollywood’s most famous, and
infamous, legends.
That’s right. After years of terrorizing large cities full
of Japanese people, our favorite larger-than-life, fire-breathing,
bad-ass dragon will finally get what he deserves: a star on
Hollywood’s Walk of Fame.
But this raises a question. Does Godzilla really deserve the
right to be permanently cemented into both Hollywood Boulevard and
the collected memories of over-zealous tourists everywhere?
First, you have to take into consideration just how special it
is to obtain a star on the legendary Walk of Fame. When the Walk
was first created in 1960, they made 2,500 blank stars, begging to
be filled. But as of the beginning of this year, the total count of
occupied stars along the walk of fame numbered 2,150, with an
average rate of about two stars being added per month.
So will they ever simply run out of room? Well, with all the new
inductees, they’ve recently had to add more stars by
extending the Walk westward past Sycamore Avenue to La Brea Avenue.
But for anyone familiar with the area, the extra length makes it
more and more dangerous to travel the entire length of the Walk.
Sure, Hollywood Boulevard’s never been considered a perfect
place to raise a family, but the day the Walk gets extended into
the depths of K-town is the last day I ever visit my favorite stars
without packing heat.
So as the Walk gets longer and longer, is the measure of talent
destined to get lower and lower? In the past, they’ve only
handed out stars to a select few movie-star puppets, from Mickey
Mouse to Kermit the Frog (much to Miss Piggy’s chagrin, who,
by the way, does not have a star, very unjustly if you ask me). So
what did Godzilla do to make the cut?
Well, he does have a new movie, “Godzilla Final
Wars,” coming out at the end of next month, not to mention
the iconic power to strike fear into the hearts of Asians
everywhere. But in my opinion that doesn’t mean it’s
time to show our gratitude by handing him such an honor to an
oversized lizard costume.
So to whoever it is in charge of handing out stars, I say one
thing: Slow down. If you keep handing stars out more frequently
than they hand out flyers on Bruin Walk, it’s not going to be
special anymore. Have we lost all value of the years of sweat and
tears those real-life actors have to give to the industry before
they earn their own personal redemption?
Perhaps, perhaps not. But I do know one thing.
Miss Piggy got punk’d.
Scott thinks Godzilla’s star should go to
Kermit’s girlfriend. E-mail him at
jscott@media.ucla.edu.