Coming to terms with herself

Christine Treibel’s parents thought her sexuality was a
sin. So at the age of 14, while she had an innocent crush on the
actress who played Audrey from the play Little Shop of Horrors, one
of her thoughts was, “I’m going to hell.”

Treibel, a 22-year-old women’s studies student, said that
was the first time she thought she might be gay, and that
developing an open sexuality over the next few years of her life
was often extremely difficult.

Coming out, the act of publicly embracing one’s sexuality,
is the hardest thing someone has to do and is the one experience
that all gay people have in common, said Paymon Ebrahimzadeh,
chairperson of the Queer Alliance.

Born in Orange County, Treibel was the daughter of a
preacher’s son and spent her entire life until college in
Mission Viejo.

“I was a P.K.K.,” Treibel jokes, saying P.K.K. stood
for a “preacher’s kid’s kid.” “(I
was) raised really religious, super Christian.”

Church was a Sunday staple for her family and Treibel remembers
her father spending hours explaining why creation, not evolution,
was the foundation of human life.

So at the age of 16, when Treibel’s parents hinted that
she might be bisexual, one of the reasons she stayed in the closet
was because they were not receptive, especially not her father.

“He was basically going to stick me in Christian immersion
programs. … Get the gay out with God,” Treibel said.

Instead of being openly homosexual, Treibel said she found
outlets and other ways to escape.

Treibel came out to her best friend when she was 16 and as soon
as she got her driver’s license she spent much of her time
with the gay community in Los Angeles while still mostly shielding
her sexuality in Orange County.

“I shut up about it for four years,” Treibel said.
“I dated guys for show.”

Treibel said she also tried to “dress like all the other
straight girls (at school),” but sometimes wore a rainbow pin
in her hair or a rainbow bracelet as a means of escape.

“That was my way of staying true to myself that was
covert,” Treibel said.

Treibel said it was impossible for her to be openly gay in high
school because there was a lot of homopho-

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