There’s something about dorm life that just breeds
competition.
Sure, it always starts out nice. The new freshmen arrive, they
move in their stuff, and everyone is happy and optimistic.
It’s nothing but blue skies and friendly smiles in the land
of on-campus living.
But for those of us who have lived beyond our freshmen year,
we’ve all learned the harsh reality that dorm life really
is.
The most simple rule? Friends don’t stay friends forever.
By the time the end of the year rolls around, there’s been
more cat fighting and drunken name-calling than the average episode
of “Real World San Diego.”
Maybe it’s the close quarters living arrangement. Maybe
it’s the constant competitions for “best floor.”
Or maybe it’s the lingering high school pressure to outdo
your peers for the sake of your future success.
Whatever it is, there’s no denying the fact that having
the upper hand on the rest of your floor-mates is a satisfying
feeling.
Despite all the bickering and rumbles that might go down in the
dorms, there are always a few people who manage to escape untouched
by all the drama. For these select few, they move on not only with
fewer cuts, scrapes and bruises but looking a heck of a lot cooler
than the rest of us.
So while it might seem easy, earning the respect and admiration
of your peers is a lot more difficult than you might imagine.
Some people accomplish this through charm, flirtation and even
general kindness. But for me during my freshman year, rising to the
ranks of the unofficial “King of the Floor” took more
than just my stunning good looks and razor-sharp wit.
So what’s my secret?
Owning cooler stuff than the rest of them.
With my PlayStation 2, fully equipped stereo system and even a
Nano Pet, I was more fully stocked than the local RadioShack. My
dorm room became the local hangout.
Guys would spend hours in my room playing Grand Theft Auto,
huddled on the tiny single bed we converted into a couch. Girls
would love to stop by and dance to our extensive MP3 collection,
watching themselves glow under the high-tech black light that
turned our cramped dorm room into a non-stop party.
But video games and digital animal keychains are not
what’s going to make you the coolest kid on your dorm block
this year.
So what’s this year’s secret to climbing the dorm
social chain?
One word: TiVo. Yeah, I said it.
For most people, this digital recording device of the future is
nothing more than a replacement for that whole VCR thing that only
your grandma uses to tape “Murder, She Wrote,” not to
mention a way to completely waste your time. In case you live in a
bubble, or you are, in fact, grandma, the workings of TiVo go a
little something like this.
Instead of having to manually input every television show you
want to tape, TiVo automatically detects your favorite preset
channels and shows and digitally records them for you to watch at
your own convenience. And even better, you can fast forward through
all the commercials.
Why be known as “that TiVo guy” to all your fellow
dorm friends? The reasons are endless.
Tired of having to ditch class so you can watch
“Passions”? With TiVo, you don’t have to.
Want to get a good grade in your biology class but too lazy to
study? Use your newly acquired TiVo powers as leverage by taping
the smart girl’s favorite show in exchange for a few
“study notes.”
So instead of living “Real World San Diego,” invite
your floor buddies over to watch it. And maybe you’ll be able
to look back on your days as a freshman with a little more optimism
than most.
Scott still owns a Nano Pet.
E-mail him at jscott@media.ucla.edu.