It’s almost the end of the quarter. You’re tired.
I’m tired. You can’t wait to trade in your classes for
summer sun and swimming trunks ““ or at least new professors
in summer school where classes last for 6 weeks instead of 10.
And some of you seniors just don’t care anymore; as long
as you pass, you’re happy. You may be counting down the days
until graduation and penning the last words in final, final papers,
but don’t let freshman/sophomore/junior/senioritis let you
fall from enthusiasm in your relationships ““ romantic or
otherwise.
Flowers, candy and Hallmark cards can serve as tokens of
affection. But they’re so tired. Give these holiday greetings
a holiday, and show your significant other/crush/undefined partner
how much you care in an original, simple way.
Leave notes in unexpected places, surprise your partner with a
spontaneous visit, and yes, do the old-fashioned thing and go out
on dates.
I remember in the fourth grade when my best friend told me she
was “going out” with a kid in our class. I kept asking
her where they were going.
“We’re not going anywhere,” she answered.
“But you said you guys are going out,” I
countered.
“Well, we’re not actually going to a place,
we’re just going out. That’s what it’s called
when you like someone and they like you. It’s “˜going
out.'”
I thought this idea of going out, yet not going anywhere was
absolutely absurd. And this was more than a decade before I read
Samuel Beckett’s “Waiting for Godot,” or anything
else devoted to deconstructing meaning.
Now that we’ve passed fourth grade and can go to movies
unchaperoned and even ride in cars with boys and drive them on our
own, where have all the dates gone between the study sessions,
meals in the dorms, parties and group outings?
Sometimes it seems as if they’ve disappeared completely,
along with our creativity. Sure, you may go out on dates in the
beginning of the courting stage, but once your status is solid, are
you still dreaming up date ideas worth spreading?
If not, you should be.
Now, a great date doesn’t have to be something over the
top, fancy, or even expensive.
And yes, you can find time to go out during 10th week. Everyone
has to eat ““ no matter how much studying there is to be done.
How about a picnic in the Franklin D. Murphy Sculpture Garden (hey,
it’s less than a 5-minute walk to Powell); a coffee or tea
break in Westwood, on campus, or at home; or even a late-night
drive when you can actually get somewhere without worrying about
L.A. traffic?
Hop into a bookstore, split up, and buy a book for one another.
You can give genre hints, time limits, or leave it up to the other
shopper. There’s nothing better than the feeling of
simultaneously giving and receiving.
How do you get your partner to plan such activities for you?
Inspire creativity through your own brilliant example. Make it a
fun, unspoken competition, and try to one-up each other with
original activities.
Asking someone to take you out sounds pathetic and gives him or
her little reason to do actually do it. But modeling the kind of
behavior you’d like to receive helps make it a trend you both
can follow.
Along the lines of initiating dates ““ remember this a
responsibility belonging to both sexes’ domains. We’re
not in the 19th ““ or even 20th ““ century anymore, so
girls, you can ask him out ,as well. And you should.
At least one day or night this quarter, shove the books and the
hanging out routine aside and plan an adventure for you and your
sweetie, or take advantage of these last few weeks and finally ask
out your crush before you regret never even trying.
You don’t have to study much or memorize formulas to plan
and execute a great date. All you need is drive, a bit of
creativity and an hour or two to actually, truly go out ““ in
the literal sense.
Bonos is the 2003-2004 copy chief. E-mail her your great
date ideas at lbonos@media.ucla.edu.