I guarantee victory.
It’s not that hard for me to do with the likes of Oral
Roberts coming to town ““ the men’s tennis team, not the
dental company. That’s Oral-B.
I am going to do what Billy Martin and Stella Sampras Webster
are too nice and sportsmanlike to do ““ announce that
there’s no need to play the regional matches at the Los
Angeles Tennis Center this weekend.
Both Bruin tennis teams will easily win.
Oral Roberts, with its 6-13 record (it started the season 0-11)
from the Mid-Continent Conference should scare no one, not even
William and Travis, Martin’s kids.
They haven’t hit puberty yet.
“Not to take anything away from the great season
they’ve had and winning their conference tournament,”
Martin, the coach of the No. 4 UCLA men’s team said.
“But if we can’t beat them, we don’t deserve to
go to Tulsa (site of the NCAA Championships).”
The Golden Eagles are only in the NCAA Tournament because they
won their conference tournament over everyone’s favorite
university acronym ““Â IUPUI (Indiana University-Purdue
University of Indianapolis).
“If we have a bad day, we can lose,” No. 4 starter
Alberto Francis said. “But if we play our best, we should
win.”
Can’t get enough information about Oral Roberts?
Well, it celebrated the NCAA Tournament selection show by going
to a party hosted by Wings to Go.
A restaurant actually threw a party for a 6-13 men’s
tennis team. How sad.
Then again, how much else can there be to do in Tulsa?
There’s more ““Â how random is the Mid-Continent
Conference?
It contains teams as far west as Utah (Southern Utah), as far
south as Louisiana (Centenary) and as far east as Michigan
(Oakland).
Weird.
On the women’s side, UCLA’s first-round opponent is
Long Beach State. Not nearly as random as Oral Roberts, since Long
Beach is a championship-contender in several sports.
But women’s tennis is not one of them.
The 49ers’ best win this season was against No. 55
Marshall (yes, tennis rankings, unlike every other college sport,
go all the way to 75).
UCLA is the No. 9 seed.
You do the math.
“Long Beach can play,” the politically correct
Sampras Webster said. “They will be a very good first round
matchup.
“You can’t take anything for granted,” she
said.
She should be.
UCLA’s “worst” loss this year was at No. 12
Texas. The Bruins eat teams like the 49ers for lunch.
The two teams’ second-round matches aren’t that
challenging either.
The men will play the winner of No. 46 Fresno State and No. 25
Pepperdine on Sunday ““Â neither are collegiate tennis
powerhouses. And the men get to play at home, where they
haven’t lost since the pre-Luben era.
The women have a tougher regional at home with No. 18 BYU and
No. 37 Pepperdine, but the only teams the Bruins have lost to
at home this year are No. 6 USC and No. 1 Stanford.
In all likelihood, you’ll see UCLA win a bunch of 4-0
matches this weekend. It’s a good thing the NCAA has a
rule in the postseason where all of the players don’t finish
their matches if they are meaningless, which they also do in the
regular season, because on Friday and Saturday, when the teams play
their first-round matches, you’ll be counting the points the
other teams score, not the games.
Anyone have an answer to Monday’s question? E-mail
Quiñonez at gquinonez@media.ucla.edu.