So you’re still waiting for the perfect Valentine’s
Day, huh? Hoping for the surprise flower delivery and declaration
of love from someone who probably doesn’t even know you
exist? Praying your good friend will read your mind, realize you
want something more, and finally make the first move for you?
Depressed there’s no one even on your radar to hope and pray
for?
I’ve got a cure for your mid-February woes.
Instead of agonizing over securing a valentine, try redirecting
that time and energy to redefine the term so it fits your life. The
greeting card industry has done this already by marketing specific
V-Day cards for parents, grandparents, siblings, friends and even
co-workers, so why not designate any of the abovementioned people
as your real valentine(s)?
The past week or so has definitely been a time for revising and
interpretation. With papers and midterms and the University of
California Office of the President’s releasing its second
draft of the new guidelines on whether political and religious
student groups should receive funding from student governments,
there have been plenty of opportunities for analysis.
So, to culminate this week accordingly, let’s reinterpret
Valentine’s Day. Just as UCOP has handed the UC vague
guidelines on student group funding, prompting student leaders to
do the interpreting themselves instead of waiting for a conclusive
final draft, we all must not sit quietly and patiently until the
V-Day social status quo catches up with the card companies.
It’s time to redefine the term “valentine.”
Let’s rewrite the dictionary definition of “a
sweetheart chosen or complimented on Saint Valentine’s
Day” to read simply, “a person one cares about and
communicates his/her appreciation to every day, not just on Feb.
14.”
That’s right, the dating columnist is promoting an
anti-dating alternative to those without a clear choice for a
Valentine’s Day date.
There’s no reason for anyone to see himself/herself as
“alone” on Valentine’s Day. Of the many different
kinds of love out there, most are more lasting than the romantic
variety. So go out and celebrate the strength of all your kinds of
relationships rather than wallowing in any kind of wrongly
perceived “weakness.”
Ask a single friend or two to be your valentine(s) and toast to
your friendship with a night on the town. I guarantee there will be
plenty of couples on boring or unfulfilling dates who enviously
will eye your nontraditional outing, wishing they’d followed
your lead and done the same.
Or, choose to avoid crowds and dinner reservations and host an
exclusive V-Day party ““ inviting singles only. Who knows, you
may even snag a date at such a shindig.
Decompress from midterms with a spa or pajama-and-movie night.
Make s’mores (or simply prod, “Gimme s’more juicy
details”) while sharing scary relationship stories over a
campfire, fireplace or anywhere near a fire station.
Dedicate yourself to turning a recently brokenhearted
friend’s frown upside down with a night out on the town. Show
him or her that friendship really can be the best basis for a
valentine, and you’ll help speed along the healing
process.
Bring back the fun of elementary school and pass out candy
hearts and cartoon valentines. Express love and appreciation for
family members along with everyone else important in your life.
Whatever you do, however you celebrate, make sure you’re
doing just that. There’s no reason for Valentine’s Day
to be a depressing holiday, so take out your dictionaries, cross
out the old-fashioned definition, and redefine the day in practice
and in mind-set.
Merriam-Webster will soon take note.
Bonos is the 2003-2004 copy chief who aspires to author a
line of V-Day cards chock-full of puns. If you’d like to be
her creative partner in word-play crime, e-mail her at
lbonos@media.ucla.edu.