They couldn’t cover a nipple, so now the people at CBS are
covering their butts.
This year’s Super Bowl featured one of the most shocking
happenings in the history of the event ““ the Carolina
Panthers actually beat the point spread. Equally outrageous was the
championship game’s halftime show in which Justin Timberlake
exposed Janet Jackson’s right breast. Sunday, 140 million
people were glued to the boob tube to watch the big game, and they
certainly got more than they bargained for.
Timberlake prophesied the event when he sang, “I’m
gonna have you naked by the end of this song.” Touché
Nostradamus.
At the climax of their number, Timberlake yanked at
Jackson’s bodice, revealing her decorated nipple. Fittingly,
the jewelry she chose to wear on that fateful evening was of a sun
design. Like a solar eclipse, the spectacle was a rare and
noteworthy occurrence. Also like an eclipse, if you stare at it too
long, you might go blind.
Jackson’s headlight ornament probably caused her problems
even before arriving at Houston’s Reliant Stadium. Walking
through airport metal detectors likely required a good explanation,
especially considering this jewelry came equipped with eight sharp
points. If she can have this on a plane, I should be allowed to
have my toenail clippers.
Within moments after the broadcast, CBS’ switchboards lit
up like the red-light district. Viewers were outraged that a
woman’s breast was shown on live television. Families did not
sit down together to watch a public burlesque show; they sat down
together to watch one of the most brutal and violent sports in the
world. Where is the decency, CBS?
These viewers, however, were not the only ones upset by the
halftime hooter. The National Football League and the Federal
Communications Commission were furious as well.
TiVo subscribers, on the other hand, could not stop reviewing
Jackson’s jug. TiVo, the service allowing patrons to
digitally pause and rewind live television, has reported the flash
to be the most rewatched moment in the company’s history.
After reviewing the play, instant replay in the NFL really does
seem like a good idea.
Blame has been passed around more than anger management cards at
a Howard Dean rally. Viacom Inc. has declared no one knew about the
titillating scheme ahead of time. Viacom is the parent corporation
of both CBS and MTV, which produced the halftime extravaganza.
Jackson has publicly pinned guilt on herself, saying the coup de
bra was planned after the final rehearsal and that neither CBS nor
the NFL were aware of what was to come. Jackson apologized,
explaining that, “unfortunately, the whole thing went wrong
in the end.”
Viacom has not gotten this much attention for showing a
blundering boob since MTV started airing “Newlyweds”
with Jessica Simpson. FCC Chairman Michael Powell has called for an
immediate investigation into this “classless, crass and
deplorable stunt.” The areola air time may result in the
maximum allowable fine of $27,500 being levied against each
CBS-owned station and affiliate nationwide.
Repercussions continue to rain down on Jackson and Timberlake
for the incident. Entertainment Tonight has reported Jackson will
no longer be appearing at the Grammy Awards, most likely due to her
bad exposure. Talk about “tit for tat.” Additionally,
the NFL has canceled Timberlake’s boy bandmate J.C.
Chasez’s Pro Bowl halftime appearance as a result of the
controversy. If this is all it took to silence *NSYNC, this
so-called “nipplegate” did not happen soon enough.
Is the scrutiny warranted? As a matter of policy, the halftime
show violated practices and standards established by the FCC and,
as such, rightfully deserves sanctions and fines. Furthermore, the
halftime show as a whole was just as risque and crude as the
finale. The program must be examined so future instances of blatant
perversion can be avoided.
But, come on! This was just one sun-shielded nipple. Everyone
““ except maybe Dennis Kucinich ““ has at one time or
another seen a nipple. It should not be a surprise that everyone
has them. I am more offended when CBS tries to show me Kevin
James’ nipples than I am Janet Jackson’s.
It may have been appalling for all of 24 hours, but this issue
should not be so important. It certainly does not deserve to be
“the most searched event in the history of the
Internet,” as the Terra Lycos search engine contends.
And after all, was this happening really so hard to foresee?
First Michael, now Janet; the Jacksons seem to have a problem with
young boys.
Pfohl has witnessed that Sea World sells seafood in its
restaurants. Were these the dolphins that couldn’t learn the
tricks? Pfohl is a fourth-year history and political science
student. E-mail him at jpfohl@media.ucla.edu. Send general comments
to viewpoint@media.ucla.edu.