Call me a traditionalist, but I still believe in the value of
opening the door for a lady, donning a suit and tie to special
engagements, and showering daily.
That’s why when there’s a cultural revolution in any
capacity, I tend to raise my right eyebrow, followed by my left one
(I can do that because I’m sinister).
If you haven’t noticed, there’s a winter revolution
taking place, which is understandably difficult to discern in Los
Angeles, with the palm trees and surfers and all.
But 10 years ago, the coming of winter meant only one thing:
time to ski. In 2004, it still means only one thing: time to
snowboard.
Such a fast transition between sports is unparalleled and needs
explanation, but I’m not sure I have the answer.
In my younger days, I was an avid skier. But I hadn’t been
to the mountains in five years until this January. Hope I
don’t make old people feel older by saying this (yes I do),
but I remember the day when there were hardly any snowboarders on
the mountain.
Then, like an avalanche, snowboarding raced onto the winter
scene. It’s documented that the snowboard was invented in the
1960s by simply putting a pair of skis together (why mess up a good
thing?), which at the time was called a “snurfer”
““ combining the words snow and surf.
While snowboarding didn’t explode onto the global
landscape until the late 1980s, it is currently the fastest growing
sport in the United States.
So what is it about snowboarding that’s enticing everyone
to join this revolution? It’s the same phenomenon as why most
people wear mesh hats and don’t play golf.
Snowboarders just look cool.
I don’t know if it’s the pants, the boards, the
beanie, the sunglasses or the overpriced jacket, but DAMN, they
look cool.
If James Dean were alive, would there be any doubt whether
he’d ski or snowboard? Like the young punks that exceed 35
miles per hour in their Toyota Camrys in residential neighborhoods,
snowboarding carries that “bad boy” image.
In the 1980s, snowboarding’s rebellious reputation was so
rampant that resorts actually closed their lifts to boarders.
Though that same reputation still exists today to an extent, the
booming popularity of snowboarding has enticed practically everyone
to give this relatively new sport a try ““ at the expense of
losing its original renegade image.
Hoping to give that image a boost, I figured I’d give my
bad self a shot at snowboarding.
I strapped my boots into the bindings (I had someone do it for
me) and tried to balance myself on the board, but then realized I
couldn’t drive up to Mountain High that way.
I’m not really a bad boy.
Seven hours later, bruised and battered, I came to this
conclusion: Snowboarding may look cool, but it is not fun.
To prove it, give yourself this little quiz.
1) Like to be on your butt all day?
2) Like to fall down violently?
3) Like to tie your shoes every 10 minutes?
4) Like having your feet nailed to a plank of wood?
I only answered, “yes” to No. 3 because, well, I
don’t have to tell you why.
If you answered “no” to any of these questions,
you’re not alone. Actually, you should be in the
majority.
Yet I only made out three or four skiers on the slopes that day,
which I hope is not reflective of a dying breed.
The most indicative example of the near completion of
snowboarding’s diabolical mountain takeover was a
conversation I had on a chairlift with a 78-year-old named
Mark.
Mark, who had been a die-hard skier for more than 50 years,
decided a few months ago to take up snowboarding. When I asked him
why all of a sudden he decided to try snowboarding, his answer
echoed my darkest fears.
“I want to look cool,” Mark said.
If snowboarding can change a 50-year hobby on a sole mountain
excursion, its powers are out of this world.
So much for tradition.
E-mail Fast Glass at sglass@media.ucla.edu.