Sharpen your pencils, take out your pens, and prepare to go back
in time. Today we will travel to the fifth grade, a time when
the only thing cooler than Hypercolor shirts and Garbage Pail Kids
was Mad-Libs, the zany word game where you fill in the blanks with
nouns, adjectives, verbs and other words all on your own.
In case you’ve forgotten how Mad-Libs work, let me refresh
your memory. Grab a few partners and only read the bracketed
prompts to them. (Note: Feel free to read the bracketed prompts in
any order you wish.) Record their responses in the blank spaces.
Once they have filled in all the blanks, read the entire story out
loud, preferably in a crowded place where everyone can hear
you.
This should give you something to do after you complete your
crossword puzzle. It’s also a good way to kill time
while (UCLA Professor) ____________ finds it necessary to read the
syllabus to you and 212 other people who are perfectly capable of
reading the syllabus on their own.
First, a quick key to assist you in your travels: n. = noun,
adj. = adjective, v. = verb, p. = place, pl. = plural, X = UCLA
athlete.
I don’t know what you did on your winter break and you
don’t care what I did on mine. Here then, is artistic
license to turn my mind-numbing musings into Shakespearean-gold,
Orwellian-brilliance or Larry Flynt-trash.
Without further ado, I bring you sports Mad-Libs. No holds
barred, sports fans.
This winter break, I went to (a city) _____________. Despite the
(n.) ________, I had a (adj.) __________ time. I was really
(emotion) ___________ because (X)_______________, my favorite UCLA
athlete, came with me. It was a wonderful time filled with holiday
(n.)_________ and sports.
The trip got off to a (adj.) __________ start. When we were
getting off of the (vehicle) ___________, I accidentally slammed
(X’s) _____________ (body part)____________ into the
door.
This wasn’t our only problem. USC had just (v., past
tense) _____________ their way into a share of the national
championship, and happened to be (v.) ___________ nearby listening
to (musician) _____________ and drinking (fluid or liquid)
____________.
Putting this distraction aside, we eventually arrived in (city)
____________. The weather was absolutely (adj.)
___________. This was fine, because we had a (number) ___
-pack of (favorite drink) ___________ and a tub of (food)
__________. Flipping on the tube, we watched the UCLA (sport)
___________ team play the (college team) ___________.
The game was uneventful until somebody ran onto the playing
field buck-naked and interrupted the game.
It was funny until I realized that person was my (family member)
____________. When (X) ___________started making fun of me, I
challenged (X)_____ to a game of (board game)
_____________. The loser had to buy (beverage, pl.)
___________ for the rest of the trip.
Naturally, I defeated (X) _____________ in a competitive
match. (X) _______ claimed that an injured (body part)
____________ kept (X) _______ from winning, but I know the conquest
was the result of my abnormally large (body part) ___________.
After my victory, it was time to return home. We boarded
the (flying vehicle) _____________ and were just about to take off
for (city) ___________ when the flight attendant asked (X)
____________ “Aren’t you (musician) _____________? Will
you sign my (body part) ______________?”
Instead, (X) ___________ took an in-flight meal, which was
mostly (a food you hate) __________, and threw it at the flight
attendant’s (body part) _______________.
When we finally landed and were going through customs, I
realized my (n.) ____________ was missing. Since this is
clearly a requirement for getting back into the country, I am
completing this Mad-Libs from (city outside of the United States)
_____________.
Karon can’t do the crossword puzzle, because he
isn’t (adj.)__________ enough. E-mail him your completed
Mad-Libs at: ekaron@media.ucla.edu.