UCLA students have vastly different dreams, desires and
goals.
Some want to land that job in the mail room at William-Morris.
Others will be the first in their family to obtain a college
degree. Many will go on to earn MBAs.
For Jason Gaulton, all he ever wanted was to recreate great
moments in UCLA football history ““ on the intramural field.
Now that’s a goal, sports fans.
Gaulton, a third-year philosophy student, compiled a team of
mediocre athletes called the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers to
achieve his goal.
Luckily, I caught up with Gaulton on the day he was to emulate
Cade McNown’s historic 1998 game against the Oregon Ducks, a
game during which McNown vomited between plays, came out for a
series, and went on to finish the game.
I sat and talked with this enigma of a man to find out more.
EK: What would inspire you to do this?
JG: Growing up I was always a UCLA fan, and I relished the years
of the great Cade McNown. To see a man vomit and keep on playing
““ puke and rally if you will ““ is an inspiration to any
fan.
EK: But why recreate such a moment?
JG: Unfortunately, I throw like Cade McNown does in the NFL
““ not at all.
I might never be able to throw a pass 50 yards or outrun an
entire defense. But I can sure as hell vomit. And I can certainly
keep playing after I vomit.
EK: I assume you are going to regurgitate due to natural causes,
much the way McNown did five years ago. Are you sick like he
was?
JG: Not yet. But after a 32-ounce Miller High Life and a chili
cheese burrito from Jose Bernstein’s I should be. If that
doesn’t do it, the pure physical exhaustion that comes with
intense C-league football games should do the trick.
EK: Maybe I’m jaded, but it all seems kind of selfish to
me, like something that Terrell Owens or Keyshawn Johnson would do
for publicity.
JG: First of all, you are jaded. Secondly, there may be no
“˜I’ in team. But there is an “˜I’ in
“˜burrito,’ “˜drink’ and “˜vomit.’
The way I see it, I’m doing what is best for both the team
and I.
EK: What do your teammates think of all this?
JG: As long as I aim away from them, they’re fine with it.
They understand the dream of emulating your favorite stars on the
intramural field and support me whole-heartedly in my quest to
fulfill that dream.
EK: Has anybody ever told you you’re crazy?
JG: Yes, but I don’t see how that’s relevant.
EK: Good point. Don’t you think there are better ways to
show your love for the game?
JG: Imitation is the highest form of flattery.
EK: What does that even mean?
JG: Don’t ever question Bruce Dickinson!
EK: I thought you were gonna be Cade McNown?
JG: Who?
EK: OK. This is ridiculous. Do you have advice for anyone else
out there trying to recreate their favorite sports moments?
JG: If you want to be like your favorite players, don’t
let things like naysayers or common sense stand in your way. If you
want to drink beer, eat burritos and play football, that’s
your right as a sports fan and as an American.
On a cold November night, I followed Gaulton out to the
intramural field to watch him carry out his dream. The result? The
opposing team didn’t show up, and the Little Lebowski Urban
Achievers won by forfeit. There was no puking, at least not on the
field.
Gaulton’s response to an unfulfilled vision?
“I’ll get another beer and another burrito, and
we’ll play again next week,” he said.
To suggest games for future re-enactment, e-mail Karon at
ekaron@media.ucla.edu