Squabbling superstars are running amok in Los Angeles.
There’s a lesson to be learned here, a lesson about life.
When a fellow columnist spoke words of wisdom in haiku form, I
realized that I could do one better: a Dr. Seuss rhyme. After all,
who better to dispense lessons than a man I’m sure many of us
grew up with? As such, this is a little story, inspired by Dr.
Seuss, about two important people with very different attitudes.
Two young brothers blinded by power and fame… When Sammy was
born, he was promised a lot, When Kevin was born, he and Sammy
fought.
Mom gave Sammy the world and more, All Kevin wanted was to walk
out the door.
Sammy was dominating, big, bad, and mean. Kevin was innocent,
small, cute, and lean.
Every day Sammy was always out with his boys, Every day Kevin
was at home, alone with his toys.
Sammy was always seen partying like the Sheens, Kevin was always
staring mindlessly at TV screens.
Though they were different, their goal was the same, Each one
wanted one thing: that thing was fame.
They both pretended to put their differences aside, Their
relationship flourished, free of chide.
Together they managed their way to the top, With no one to tell
them when to stop.
For years they pretended to enjoy what they saw, The world in
their hands, the future in their paw.
But neither was happy, that much was clear, If they fought
again, there would be much to fear.
The problem was disgustingly simple, Each one was the
other’s huge ugly pimple.
Attached for life, impossible to remove, Each one lived with
something to prove.
That their rise to the top was of one mind, That they be praised
for being one of a kind.
Sammy got greedy, sitting aimlessly on his prize, Kevin got
needy, wanting to taste different-flavored pies.
Sammy sat too long, and when he stood up he was fat, Kevin ran
around, and got involved in a major spat.
When they reunited, they gave simple nods of the head, One very
obese, the other a ghost, close to dead.
Sammy blames Kevin for everything that’s wrong, Kevin
feels the same, singing a similar song.
Mom doesn’t know what course of action to take, But the
answer is so simple, have you been reading for heaven’s
sake?
Mom gave Sammy the world and more, All Kevin wanted was to walk
out the door.
Now Kevin is old enough to pass through the frame, And will
undoubtedly do so, saying his older brother’s to blame.
Email him at sglass@media.ucla.edu