Records are broken every day. Streaks die meaningless deaths
endlessly. But curses last lifetimes, and when they’re
broken, the result is massive upheaval and jubilation. Such a
catastrophic event is burgeoning in New England.
The Boston Red Sox are in prime position to win their first
World Series since 1918.
This year seems so different from the other 85 that ended with a
Boston loss. The Red Sox seem to be having more fun. The twinkle in
Bostonians’ eyes seems to reflect a belief of success in
their team and not a belief of dilapidation, as was the case in the
past.
They’re not there yet, but they can smell it. Bostonians
are ready for a championship team to once again parade through
their streets.
However, Bostonians aren’t ready for the celebratory
aftermath.
If the Red Sox win the 2003 World Series, here’s what will
happen.
1) Most importantly, the curse that has brought Boston fans
together for nearly a century would be over. The “Curse of
the Bambino,” which refers to Red Sox owner Harry
Frazee’s decision in 1920 to sell Babe Ruth to the Yankees to
finance his girlfriend’s play (It was a good play), has
created a bond between Bostonians like nothing else in New England
history.
What made the bond so strong was that it was based and nurtured
on mass suffering. There’s a basic human connection that
comes with the understanding that other people feel your pain. And
when you multiply that by 20 million, you have a lot of friends you
never knew existed. They may say they hate the curse and would
rather be in the position of the New York Yankees, but I say they
love it. Although they don’t have the championships, they
have the unique bond that lasts a lifetime.
2) A lot of people are going to die. Seriously. Imagine all the
Red Sox fans who have uttered the words, “I want to see them
win at least once in my lifetime.” Well, if they win, all the
people who uttered that statement will die, and we’re talking
big numbers. Their hearts are tame for 11 and a half months a year,
but come late October, their hearts start pumping hard and working
overtime, and when that one perfect moment comes, when the Red Sox
run out of the dugout, arms in the air, champagne about to flow,
you know what happens.
I’m willing to bet there are thousands of Bostonians just
waiting around solely to see the Red Sox win a World Series. If
their reason to live is unfairly taken away, what else is there to
live for? But there is hope because, as the old adage says, the
people who have no reason to live tend to live longer.
3) There will be a Red Sox “baby boom.”
There’s going to be 20 million really happy people in a
really friendly mood, in a real friendly atmosphere, with a really
generous alcohol supplier, having a really good time. If the Red
Sox win the World Series on Oct. 26, hospitals in the New England
area will be inundated with “Red Sox babies” for the
entire month of July 2004. Kids will grow up wondering why
they’re attending a different birthday party nearly every
single day during the summer, which leads into the fourth and final
social change that will accompany a Red Sox victory.
4) All these new kids will be named after Red Sox. I’m
hoping the Red Sox have the decency to make their victory a
consummate team effort because parents would then have the choice
of 20 Red Sox names. But if an individual player turns out to be
the hero, I pray that player has a normal name. If Nomar
Garciaparra gets the winning hit, I feel bad for all New England
school teachers for the next 20 years. If Trot Nixon makes a diving
catch to clinch the World Series, we have 100,000 new Trots
trotting around. Some fans might even pull a George Costanza and
name their kids after the number of their favorite Red Sox player.
The dinner conversation would rival an Abbott and Costello
routine.
“Forty-five, be nice to your younger sister 27, or else
older brother 33 is going to deal with you his way.”
The end of the curse, the mass death, the Red Sox “baby
boom,” and all of the new kids running around with names of
Red Sox players would truly be a testament to one thing: Boston
fans are pure, and they stick by their team through the good, the
bad and the really bad. It’s truly a lesson on what it is to
be a sports fan.
Bruin fan, be patient, and the reward will be that much
sweeter.
E-mail Seth Fast Glass at sglass@media.ucla.edu.