As I’m sure many would expect of a Daily Bruin columnist,
I am not sexually active.
I could sit here and qualify my virginity as the result of some
conscientious rebellion against the popular media or my strong
moral convictions ““ but come on, we all know that’s not
true. I certainly don’t bear the scarlet “V” with
pride, though by that same token, it’s certainly nothing to
bash my head about.
However, looking at today’s sex-laden media content,
self-hatred can be understandably difficult to avoid. What’s
more, (surprise!) it’s not just for women anymore. Distorted
conceptions of reality now plague the male psyche as much as the
female, especially in regard to sexual prowess and physical
attractiveness. For this, the popular media is primarily
responsible. Despite its admitted entertainment value, from
“American Pie” to so-called “men’s
magazines” to the gross distortion that is “The Real
Cancun,” the popular media instill false notions of reality
which are responsible for how neurotic we’ve become about sex
and appearances.
Don’t get me wrong. I love debauched, sex romps as much as
the next guy, but there’s certainly something to be said
about their effects on our minds. I don’t mean this in any
self-righteous, moral sense; I simply mean that unrealistic media
portrayals shape our perceptions of reality whether we realize it
or not.
“Jesus, we’re all gonna go to college as virgins.
They’ve probably got special dorms for people like us,”
says the character Jim in “American Pie” shortly before
he and his posse make a pact to have sex before high school
graduation.
While such dialogue is primarily designed to provoke laughter,
it also serves the latent function of guiding individual behavior
and understanding. In a Hollywood fashion, the characters in
“Pie” fulfill their pact, thereby saving them from the
humiliation of being labeled freaks. True-life youngsters may not
be as lucky. The stigma associated with virginity suggested by this
film and many films like it, creates unreasonable expectations
among teenagers. Such expectations turn into disappointment, and
later, feelings of self-blame and disenfranchisement.
Not convinced? Pick up a magazine. As Washington Monthly editor
Michelle Cottle explains of the popular publication,
“”˜Men’s Health’ is well on its way to
making the male species as insane, insecure and irrational about
physical appearance as any Cosmo girl.” And it’s not
just Men’s Health. Take Maxim, which exploits men’s
sexual insecurities. Look at some of their recent article
headlines: “Please Thousands of Women,” “Land a
Rich Girl” and “Be Her Rebound,” are some of
their more titillating reading options.
Whether on screen or in print, there is an overarching and
relentless societal pressure to do it and do it now! In spite of
all this, perhaps the most dangerous threat to our precarious grips
on reality is the recent release of the “The Real
Cancun.” Cancun is less a depiction of reality as it is a
brilliant amateur-acting exercise. When the cameras start rolling,
any semblance of reality is thrown out in place of an entertaining
artifice.
The problem is being able to see this distinction clearly. We
see beautiful characters on television, all of whom seem to possess
godlike charm (thanks to the panel of writers meticulously
scripting the dialogue). Then we ask ourselves why we don’t
possess that charm. The problem is further exacerbated when the
fabricated media onslaught hides itself under the guise of
“reality,” fooling people (especially men) into
believing that their lives should be one big, sex-filled, drunken
haze.
“Cancun’s” release marks the beginning of a
new genre, one that will ultimately serve to increase dissonance
between our perceptions of reality and, in turn, reality
itself.
That said, the popular media are here to stay and will continue
to use sex as its selling point. We will all remain entertained.
The trick is realizing that the media are the worst place to start
when looking for comparisons to our own lives, especially in regard
to sexuality and ideals of attractiveness.
Nay, bearing the scarlet “V” isn’t something
I’m proud of, but it’s not so bad. As Michelle Cottle
says, “make men as neurotic about the circumference of their
waists and the whiteness of their smiles as the women, and the
burden of vanity and self-loathing will be shared by all.”
Looks like we’re all on level ground now, ladies.
Dang is a third-year political science student. E-mail him at
ndang@media.ucla.edu.