“The Orchid Thief” By Susan Orlean
Ballantine Books
Those expecting to read an extended version of
“Adaptation” when picking up “The Orchid
Thief” will be in for quite a surprise. But for cinephiles
looking for insight into just what was going on in Charlie
Kaufman’s twistedly imaginative mind when he took on the book
will find it here in Susan Orlean’s interesting tale that is
at once a work of journalism, history, sociology and stream of
consciousness observation. Barnes and Noble chooses to put
“Orchid Thief” in the “True Crime” section
next to narratives of jewel heists and serial killings, and the
title makes it seem like a psychological plunge into the mind of a
deranged poacher of precious flora. But while the story does use
John Laroche’s plundering of ghost orchids from a Florida
preserve (and his intent to clone them) as the throughline for the
plot, the aesthetic and interest of the book lie in Orlean’s
ability to make something as seemingly mundane as orchid collecting
into a compelling subject. Her copious research on orchid
cultivation, the Seminole Indians and profiles of orchid collectors
are woven with beautiful descriptions of Florida’s landscapes
in her overarching tale of obsession, passion and the desire that
drives people. At times, Orlean’s long digressions and
observations can grind on the nerves (for example, her complaints
about being in the swamps), but overall the text keeps you
surprisingly captivated for all 282 pages. In
“Adaptation,” Kaufman says there’s never been a
movie just about flowers, and there’s probably never been a
story solely about flowers ““ at least one that kept you
awake.
“Tangle in Tijuana” By Lilla and Nora
Zuckerman Fireside Books
After you polished off Tolstoy’s “War and Peace”
over spring break, I bet most of you were thinking, “Where
can I get a vapid piece of superficial trash about two skanky rich
girls who go on a trip to Mexico, shaming the already blemished
image of America with immature antics and racist, demeaning
comments?” Well, look no further, my friends. “Tangle
in Tijuana,” the first in the series of the new “Miss
Adventure” interactive book series, has hit the book stands,
validating the existence of every spoiled, ignorant snob
we’ve all had the misfortune of knowing. The only redeeming
aspect of the book (which garnered it all of half a paw only
because there was no “one toe” rating) was that it was
a Choose Your Own Adventure, which hearkens back to a beautiful
time when Ataris were a technological breakthrough, tubesocks a
product of fashion genius, and video had just killed the radio
star. The book does succeed at offering a large number of choices
and endings (which include getting arrested by the Federales for
not taking off your bra, having sex with a minor, and ending up
drunk in a bar with a Mexican man sucking on your toes). Save your
money, your time and your brain cells, but if your friends are lame
enough to give you this book as a present, it could make for an OK
bathroom read, and might even come in handy during a toilet paper
crisis.