Holiday too iconic, grads say

Graduate students at the Cheng Microbiology, Immunology and
Molecular Genetics research lab could teach Cupid about love and
the meaning of Valentine’s Day, a holiday which for them does
not mean an expensive night out.

“We’re grad students. We’re poor,” said
Ryan O’Connell, a 27-year-old student working toward his
Ph.D.

O’Connell plans to cook dinner and write a letter and
“maybe a song” for his Valentine.

He met his fiancée, June Round, during his senior year of
high school. They dated for one-and-a-half years, but like many
people that age in relationships, college broke them up.

“Your undergraduate years, … it’s a time to
experiment and discover who you are,” said
O’Connell.

Three years later they met at his sister’s wedding and
started to date.

“She was always the only girl I loved,”
O’Connell said.

He describes his graduate years as being more serious.

“Graduates are looking to settle down and start a
family,” he said.

Older undergraduate students sometimes share the views of
graduate students. Valentine’s Day for Natasha Griffith, a
27-year-old fourth-year undergraduate, is just another
day.

“It’s not important,” she said. “I like
surprises, just not on schedule.”

Griffith escaped war-torn Bosnia with her mother and younger
brother after high school.

She met her husband, Gary Griffith, at a bookstore while she was
a student at the University of France. He was an aerospace
engineer who was traveling around the world on vacation. Though she
received her undergraduate degree from the University of
France, Griffith discovered that it did not transfer over in
the United States. She took courses at El Camino City College in
Torrance and transferred to UCLA. As a married woman, Griffith
stresses the importance of time management to balance school and
home life ““ whether it’s Valentine’s Day or
not.

Others express the same sentiment.

“It’s a concoction of Hallmark,” said Paul
Dempsey, a 36-year-old post-doctorate student.

He met his wife, Deborah Campbell, at a Hard Rock Cafe in
London. At the time, Dempsey was an undergraduate student and she
was a tourist. He later went on to Johns Hopkins University and
continued his relationship with Campbell. But, he said, he got
nervous.

“I wasn’t ready for the commitment,” Dempsey
said. 

Dempsey left for England and finished his graduate studies
there.

He found himself back in the United States for a conference in
San Francisco and met Campbell at a chance wedding in Las
Vegas.

“She was separating. We started dating again,”
Dempsey said.

He described Valentine’s Day as being too commercial. He
plans on spending the day at the California Science Center with his
wife and two children.

“If it’s the beginning of a relationship,
Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity to show someone you
care,” said Gagik Ogan, a 26-year-old Ph.D. medical graduate
student. “But if you’re in a serious relationship, it
means crap.”

He said couples who have an extravagant Valentine’s
Day are trying to make up for their relationship in some way.
Gagik plans on having dinner with his fiance and friends on
Valentine’s Day, something he would do “on any regular
Friday night.”

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