Now, on top of endless security checks, cramped seats and poor
service on airplanes, we’re supposed to pay for the fish.
Late last month, America West, the nation’s eighth largest
airline, ended a three-week test in which in-flight meals were sold
at a price of $3-10 in order to curb post”“ Sept. 11, 2001
losses. Following suit, Northwest Airlines began a similar
experiment.
If successful, these tests could spell the end of complimentary
meal service on airplanes, especially in this economic climate,
where the airlines will do anything to remediate the staggering of
the past two years.
Spokesmen for both airlines claim the tests could result in
bigger portions of tastier food. But considering that in 2002
America West and Northwest Airlines lost a combined total of $529
million, this promise of more delectable fare seems like a
desperate attempt to pass some of their financial burdens to the
consumer.
In an ABC News interview, America West Vice-President Joette
Schmidt defended the tests, stating that having travelers pay will
reduce the costs of airplane catering, which is quite hefty. For
instance, according to ABC, hiring a delivery truck can cost upward
of $500, even if the truck is carrying nothing more than snacks and
ice.
This is America West’s economic syllogism for how it
works:
If travelers pay for meals, then airlines make more money. If
airlines make more money, catering costs won’t be as
damaging. If catering costs aren’t as damaging, in-flight
food quality will increase, resulting in happy passengers.
However, if catering is so exorbitant, how will we ever see
tastier meals? Bigger, better meals cost more. If companies make
more, but catering costs increase simultaneously, the airlines make
no profit. For America West and Northwest, the only way sold meals
can be profitable is if revenue increases while catering expenses
remain the same. In this scenario, passengers end up paying for the
same meals they’ve been accustomed to forcing down their
mouths for free.
The airlines win, the caterers win, but the unwitting consumer
is once again duped out of his hard”“earned buck.
America West and Northwest have yet to announce plans to
permanently institute a paid meal service. However, there seems to
be a prevailing notion in corporate America that if your company is
in the toilet, you should wipe your tush with the customers’
toilet paper. The dominance of this notion, found everywhere from
Enron to Tyco, leads me to believe that paid meals are definitely
around the corner.
To invoke the concept of realpolitik, the airlines will charge
us for meals simply to advance their own interest. In spite of the
airline industry’s weak state, plane travel is still a
cornerstone of our global economy. Whether or not the average
consumer wishes to travel by air, the workings of our
multi-trillion dollar economy (and the federal government) will
sustain the airline industry until our next economic boom. Knowing
this, the airlines will inevitably end up making us pay for meals.
In the same way that Southwest Airlines now charges overweight
people for two plane tickets, the airlines will make us pay because
they can.
It’s ironic that even though getting a plane ticket has
never been so cheap and easy, actual plane travel is becoming more
difficult to endure.
Don’t be surprised when one day soon you’ll look
back on the days when flight attendants were still stewardesses,
economy was still coach, and the fish was still edible because at
least you didn’t have to pay for it.
For students, the quarter is half over and spring break is
almost upon us, which means many are probably making travel plans.
In addition to the normal inconvenience of post”“Sept. 11
security, I half expect that on my next $19 flight to Vegas, the
flight attendants will leave out tip jars before performing their
safety demonstration.
And once we take off, I’ll end up paying $10.75 for
Shepard’s Pie and a packet of peanuts.