Even Captain Helmet can’t excite UCLA fans at game

It’s a trying time for UCLA fans. The team is having its
worst season since the Wooden era, and it’s a fairly safe
assumption that Steve Lavin won’t be around for another
season.

The atmosphere at Pauley Pavilion is terrible. Lose Lavin and
the newer Fire Lavin shirts are seen throughout the arena.

The fans seemed apathetic until the Bruins made a run toward the
end of the second half.

Even the Bruins’ No. 1 fan feels helpless about the
situation.

Despite the team’s failures, Captain Helmet comes to every
game, trying to be a sixth man for the Bruins.

“What’s been hurting us has been the student
apathy,” Captain Helmet said. “The students
aren’t supposed to give up on the team.”

Captain Helmet had to run up and down the sidelines, something
he doesn’t usually do.

“I have to try something different,” he said.
“I wore my shoes from last year and brought the towel I took
to the women’s game against ‘SC.”

The fans seemed to do the opposite of Captain Helmet, by booing
the team on a couple of occasions, the loudest right before
half-time.

“You don’t boo our team,” Captain Helmet said.
“You don’t.”

Some of the fans who booed were wearing Fire Lavin shirts, that
featured Lavin being hung in effigy on the back. These shirts had
just been sold during the day on Thursday by UCLA student Phillip
Mazzella, who illegally put a bunch of flyers on campus on Monday
emblazoned with the slogan FIRE LAVIN IMMEDIATELY.

The announced crowd of 7,710, which included a clearly
disgruntled Dan Guerrero, didn’t feel nearly that big. There
were empty seats everywhere, except for the student section, which
was nearly full. However, it didn’t feel full, as the fans
were apathetic, except for when it came to booing Lavin and the
referees.

With every loss, the crowd seems to become smaller and more
apathetic.

“The team needs to work for the Pac-10 tournament,”
Captain Helmet said. “It’s all they have to look
forward to. They’ve got to win for themselves, win for the
fans, win for the alumni. They don’t want to be known as the
ones who stopped the streak (of consecutive winning seasons).

Captain Helmet isn’t exaggerating when he says the Pac-10
tournament is all the Bruins have to look forward to. It will
probably take at least 18 wins for UCLA to get to the NCAA
tournament as an at-large team, meaning the team would have to win
14 of its last 15 games (not including the Pac-10 tournament) to
qualify. That doesn’t look very likely at this point.

Ңbull;Ӣbull;Ӣbull;

With Lavin seemingly already gone, I’ve taken it upon
myself to find UCLA’s next coach.

I’ve decided to look at teams who are better than us, and
have less talent, perfect coaches to come to UCLA.

A perfect source to find these are in David Rothman’s
College Basketball Standings, computer rankings including schools
ranging from NCAA Division I to Canadian Interuniversity
Sports.

Currently, the Bruins are No. 165 out of 1,432 teams. That
doesn’t seem that bad, until you see the names of some of the
schools ahead of UCLA.

The California Baptist Lancers, a NAIA team, are currently
ranked No. 133. Head coach Tim Collins is doing a great job.

“I wouldn’t consider us better than UCLA,”
Collins said, showing that Collins hasn’t watched much Bruin
basketball this year.

“I think we can get in a gym and play tough against the
worst team in the Pac-10,” Collins said.

That could soon be UCLA.

Remember the Stat Geek’s How Many Losses Until Lavin Gets
Fired Theory? They’re only three away. E-mail the Stat Geek
at gquinonez@media.ucla.edu

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