All right boys and girls, it’s time to play an
old-fashioned game of “Jeff’s Crackpot Way for the
Bruins to Get to the Rose Bowl Says.”
Same deal as “Simon Says,” just with a laboriously
drawn-out, stupider name.
So …
Jeff’s Crackpot Way for the Bruins to Get to the Rose Bowl
says Washington is your second-favorite team this weekend.
Everybody, all together now!
OK. So why in the name of Warren Moon or Mark Brunell should we
care two excrements about a game 1,100 miles away?
Well, a Husky win over conference leader Washington State in the
Apple Cup at 3:30 p.m. amazingly leaves UCLA controlling its own
Rose Bowl destiny.
I know. Tough to believe, especially given how my little Oliver
Stone-esque diatribe that showed up in this fine newspaper three
weeks ago had about eight contingencies that could have squashed
the Bruins’ chances.
Yet here we are and no such disaster has struck.
Anyway …
JCWFTBTGTTRB says the Bruins absolutely need to beat USC
Saturday at 12:30 p.m.
They need to, have to, are required to, and mess everything up
if they don’t.
Should UW knock off Wazzu, on the road, and should UCLA do the
unthinkable and upset Southern Cal (no small feat, for one to
happen, a titanic feat for both to go down), the Dec. 7
UCLA-Washington St. game effectively becomes the Pac-10 title
game.
Oh, and …
If the law of averages delivers Bruin fans a punch in the groin
and one of the above doesn’t occur, USC deserves a Rose Bowl
shot over Wazzu. The Trojans have a heck of a team this year and
plenty of upstanding citizens.
Ha! Didn’t say Jeff’s Crackpot Way for the
Br””mdash;, ah screw it, you get the idea.
I warned you the game was stupid, so I’ll just put it out
of its misery right now.
No JCWFTBTGTTRB necessary.
The UCLA-USC crosstown rivalry is just one of this
weekend’s big Pac-10 grudge matches.
The Apple Cup
Washington (6-5, 3-4) at No. 3 Washington State (9-1, 6-0), 3:30
p.m., FSN (national). Streak: Washington has won four straight.
Back in August, this game was supposed to decide the Pac-10
champion. Instead, UW is an eight-and-a-half point underdog. But a
strong performance last week against Oregon on the road injected
some bite into the Husky dog pound, and the Cougs might have their
eyes fixed into the weeks (and BCS games) ahead.
The Big Game
Stanford (2-8, 1-6) at Cal (6-5, 3-4), 12:30 p.m. Streak:
Stanford has won seven straight.
On the 20th anniversary of “The Play,” Cal comes in
11-point favorites with its best chance to break the streak in
years. Too bad the Bears’ appeal to lift a postseason bowl
ban was denied, because a 4-4 conference record might have been
good enough for a magical Christmas in Las Vegas.
The Civil War
Oregon (7-4, 3-4) at Oregon State (7-4, 3-4), 1:00 p.m. Streak:
Oregon won last year.
Remember just about 400 days ago, when Sports Illustrated said
this game would decide the No. 1 team in the nation? The times,
they have a”˜ changed. The winner will probably be in a tie
for fifth place in the Pac-10, and the game isn’t even on TV
in Southern California.
The Why is This Game on a Sunday Game
Arizona (4-7, 1-6) at Arizona State (7-5, 4-3), 12:00 p.m. (Nov.
29), FSN (national).
Streak: Arizona won last year.
From the state that brought you no Daylight Savings Time,
it’s the rivalry game nobody will watch.
Before you go …
Washington’s Cody Pickett surpassed Ryan Leaf on the
all-time single-season Pac-10 passing record … Carson Palmer
needs just 75 passing yards to pass Steve Stenstrom on the career
conference passing list … UCLA fell behind USC in average
attendance last week, but the Bruins should end up on top after a
sellout this Saturday and a big crowd against Washington State.