SAN DIEGO “”mdash; Ever look up at a fast food menu and have no
idea what to order? My buddy Jeff once had this problem at Taco
Bell, so he decided to drop nine bucks (that’s right – NINE)
and gorge himself with a little of everything.
If that sounds at all disgusting, just be glad you didn’t
have to ride three more hours on I-5 with him.
Either way, it looks like the Bruins did the same thing
Saturday.
Interception. Fumble recovery. Blocked punt. Quick-strike
touchdown pass. Safety. Thrilling punt return. Sustained drive.
Hard-earned rushing TD.
Heck, “not extremely mobile” Cory Paus even ran for
five yards on a play. When that happens, it’s time to
unbutton your jeans, recline the La-Z-Boy and realize that the
Bruins have stuffed you rotten with a veritable pigskin
smorgasbord.
OK, enough with this crude, overwrought food/football
analogy.
The most important thing coming from UCLA’s 43-7 defiling
of San Diego State (0-5) ““ more important than the cornucopia
(sorry, can’t help it) of ways the Bruins found to score
““ was that this team was able to come back from a
disheartening loss last week and cash in with a truly solid
performance.
That’s something our beloved Bruins were painfully unable
to do last year, when a devastating loss to Stanford was the first
blow in a series of four straight losses that dropped UCLA from 6-0
to 6-4.
“We kind of wanted to try to do what Colorado did to us
last week,” Paus said. “They lost a big one to USC,
then came out and played awfully, awfully well against us. We just
wanted to learn from them and just play better. We’re capable
of it.”
Paus was poised throughout, even as he threw two balls awry and
was sacked on the first series. He finished a workmanlike 12 for 21
with 216 yards and a pair of touchdowns, and his 64-yard touchdown
toss to tight end Mike Seidman looked like Joe Montana and Jerry
Rice playing a pickup game against five-year olds.
You know, men among boys type of stuff.
But the Bruins’ afternoon was about so much more than
pitch and catch. The defense, which was ground into the Rose Bowl
sod for 325 rushing yards against Colorado last week, held the No.
2 offense in the country to 271 total yards, or just over half the
Aztecs’ season average.
San Diego State quarterback Adam Hall, who had his way with
Colorado and Fresno State in losses earlier in the year, said after
the game that UCLA handled the high-octane Aztec offense better
than anyone had and never let him get comfortable.
The Bruins were almost entirely mistake-free (zero turnovers)
while capitalizing on the abundant SDSU miscues (five turnovers for
14 points) and holding the ball for almost two-thirds of the
game.
The special teams, long maligned for their impotent kick
returns, racked up 114 return yards on six punts. Two other Aztec
punts never made it past the line of scrimmage, one was blocked for
a touchdown and the other sailing over the SDSU punter’s head
and out of the back of the end zone for two points.
Six different Bruins ran the ball five or more times, and even a
guy like redshirt sophomore Matt Kocher, who wasn’t listed on
the depth chart, fell on a fourth-quarter Aztec fumble.
Yep, everyone got in on the act doing just about everything,
like a great baseball rally where a team bats through the order
getting hit after hit. Even the pencil-necked pitcher that everyone
clowns on for striking out on the 50-mile per hour machine at the
batting cages rips a double.
I can’t remember a UCLA game in the last four years where
so many Bruins have done so many different things in such an
all-encompassing blowout victory. I thought only teams like Florida
and Miami did this kind of thing against someone like Southwest
Oklahoma State Tech A&M.
Anyway, it’s exactly what this team needed to do with the
Pac-10 season on the horizon, and whether or not it all goes by the
wayside next Saturday, it’s a confident step in the right
direction.
And for the fans”¦well, to use about my eighth simile of
the column, it was like going to Taco Bell and saying,
“I’ll take one of everything.” Best thing was,
you didn’t even have to find a bathroom within the hour.
Sorry, it was just too easy.