Gilda Gazor ggazor@media.ucla.edu
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Warning: this article may not be relevant to you if you are an
undergraduate freshman or sophomore, but I urge you to read on
because it will affect you sooner or later. For my last column this
year, I feel compelled to write not about consumer issues, but
about something that hits close to home. Something that no one
likes to talk about or admit, something I call the Twenties
Transitionâ„¢.
If you’re a senior, graduating or not, and you are in your
early 20s, you may have been having feelings of depression or
anxiety. What are you supposed to be doing with your life? Do you
really want to go to law/medical/business school? Where do you want
to live in five years? Is your romantic relationship going to
last?
So many questions run through your head, but you have few
answers. The worst part is that you’re graduating in two
weeks, and you have no idea what you’re doing. So what
happened to all those clear-cut plans you had when you started here
at UCLA? What happened to the goals and aspirations that you were
so sure of just last year? Maybe your options are limited because
your grades won’t get you into the school of your dreams.
Moving out of L.A. or taking a job you are unhappy with become a
reality. Now you’re just sitting back as your friends get
into great schools or take great jobs in cool cities. Your parents
don’t tell you but you know they are disappointed. But wait a
minute! You were supposed to do big things after college.Why is
this happening?
Calm down; though no one discusses it, everyone your age is
going through the same thing. But, not only is it not recognized as
a valid problem, it is always trivialized.
The most important part of the Twenties Transitionâ„¢ is to
recognize it as a serious crisis. Age 18 to 25 is the largest
transition period in one’s entire life, but it is also the
most ignored. How many times have you told an elder that you feel
confused or stressed about your future and they respond with
” you have nothing to worry about,” or
“you’re too young.” After this kind of response,
students often doubt that their concerns are valid and begin to
believe that the issue is trivial. This is when most students feel
alone and hopeless. Blaming yourself instead of understanding the
transition is what leads to searching aimlessly on Jobtrak and
working a dead end job “just for the summer after
graduation” that lasts for three years.
Don’t get me wrong, taking time off is OK, but it hurts
when too much time passes by and you are unhappily stuck in a rut.
You don’t need to know the answers now, but don’t let
the pressure of this post-college transition get you down. Keep
your head up and stay motivated. Just because you feel grad school
may not be right for you now doesn’t mean you can’t
explore other options of interest. Live out those dreams of
teaching scuba lessons in the Bahamas. There are always options for
careers in fields that interest you, so it never hurts to be a
little resourceful.
Forget about your brother who just started his own company, or
your best friend who’s getting married. Focus on what makes
you happy.
I know you’re thinking that you won’t be able to
live without pint night at Madison’s or L.A.’s Sunset
strip, but there is more to life than the familiar boundaries of
UCLA, it might be time for you to discover a new city, state or
country!
Contrary to what it seems, commencement means “to make a
new beginning.” You will meet new people and learn more about
yourself. Keep in mind that it’s OK to feel challenged and
it’s not ridiculous to feel down during this tough time. Its
going to be difficult but it will only make you a stronger person
who will be able to run that company, save those children or invent
new ideas. Look at the bigger picture. Where do you see yourself in
10 years? Now, start working and get there.