Steroid use won’t matter to owners of top fantasy teams

The Fantasy League Guru sports@media.ucla.edu
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Ken Caminiti recently told Sports Illustrated that he used
steroids during his 1996 MVP season, where he hit .326 with 40 home
runs and 130 RBIs for the San Diego Padres.

Curt Schilling confirmed that steroid use is rampant in the
majors and is one of the reasons why “you’re seeing
records not just being broken but completely shattered.”

So this got the Fantasy League Guru thinking, do fantasy owners
even care?

To win a fantasy league, you need one of those major leaguers
shattering home run records. Otherwise you can’t compete in
the hitting categories.

It’s a little bit like Russell Crowe in
“Gladiator,” when he yells to the bloodthirsty crowd:
“Are you not entertained.”

Fantasy owners are only interested in stats and will only revolt
when something has a negative impact on their teams.

Plus steroids don’t necessarily relate to home runs. I
could take as many steroids meant for horses and cattle as I
wanted, but that wouldn’t help me hit a 75-mph curveball, or
hell, even a 90-mph fastball.

Even though the numbers don’t prove it, when you see
middle infielders who resemble Hulk, questions automatically
arise.

Right now baseball does not test for steroids and any changes in
that policy must be negotiated with the Players Association.
That’s as likely to happen as me ever revealing my true
name.

So the status quo should remain for the foreseeable future, and
I am confident fantasy owners don’t really care.

They need the home runs and will even provide the steroids if
any player begins to have second thoughts.

I probably would if it guaranteed me another title.

But maybe MLB players should consider the following side effects
found at www.steroids.nu:

“¢bull; Increased risk of psychosis

“¢bull; Increased risk of cardiovascular disease

“¢bull; Decreased sex drive

“¢bull; Infertility

“¢bull; Increased risk of prostate enlargement and cancer

“¢bull; Impotence

“¢bull; Decreased testicular size

“¢bull; Gynecomastia (breast growth)

To each hitter his own.

With wire reports from the Associated Press.

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