Dear Amy, My roommate’s friend is always mean to me
when she comes over and I have to lock myself up in my room
whenever she’s there. What can I do to get some
respect?
Offended
Dear Offended, Get real, Aretha. This isn’t an episode of
Full House where the problems are solved with a moral lesson and
sappy music in a half hour. It’s your life we’re
talking about, so here’s a hint: maybe you should take an
active part in it instead of being moved around like some pathetic
pawn in a rookie’s game of chess. I suggest you check the age
on your license and realize something is wrong when puberty’s
come and gone and you still can’t stand up for yourself. In
case you missed the newsflash, here in the “real
world,” adults talk to each other when they have a problem
before pent up frustrations manifest themselves into some sadistic
backlash on society. It’s your apartment, and even though you
sound like a spineless wimp, you still deserve to feel comfortable
in your own home. Your roommate, who I’m guessing
doesn’t work for the Psychic Friends Network, will never know
how you feel unless you tell her. Broach this touchy subject with
an opener like, “I’ve never met anyone more crude or
obnoxious than your friend, and unless you tell her to back off or
hang out somewhere else, I might be forced to stab myself with a
dull butter knife.” If that doesn’t work simply mail
the annoying pest your therapy bill and hopefully she’ll get
the hint.
Amy
Dear Amy, I’m in a semi-new relationship with a great
guy, and I’m not really sure what to call us: are we dating,
seeing, together etc.? How can I tell what the right term
is?
Confused
Dear Confused, How do you make it through the day with such
problems? I’m sure you barely have time to concentrate on
picking out the next color for your manicure with things like this
on your mind. Here’s a simple way to end those sleepless
nights: if you think you are in a “relationship” go to
your hypothetical lover, (make sure they know your name because if
they don’t, chances are you’re not soul mates), and
talk to them. It’s not so hard. Honestly, who cares what you
call your relationship? You should be thankful you’re in one,
especially if you spend all your time obsessing about petty stuff
like this, since you’ll probably wind up driving your partner
crazy and be single again in no time. I’m sure that’s a
term you recognize ““ remember all those Friday nights
watching Nick at Nite alone eating a carton of leftover take-out?
Maybe you should stick to what you know ““ even if it
doesn’t leave you with many options. If this relationship of
yours does actually work out, good luck. But before you start
humming “Here Comes the Bride”, think about this: if
the two of you can’t determine where your
“relationship” stands, then you don’t deserve to
be in one ““ and you probably shouldn’t be allowed to
own goldfish either.
Amy