Gilbert Quinonez gquinonez@media.ucla.edu
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Before last November, the word “contraction” was
only used when referring to women in labor. However, Major
League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig shocked the sports world by
announcing that the owners had agreed to contract at least two
teams before the start of the next season. It has been speculated
that the two teams to be contracted would be the Minnesota Twins
and the Montreal Expos.
Public outcry ensued at the possibility of contracting the
Twins, but much less fuss was made about the Expos. It seemed the
public accepted getting rid of the Expos. Hell, if the Expos are
going to be contracted, why not any team? Why not the UCLA baseball
team? All the reasons for the contraction of the Expos apply to the
UCLA baseball team.
The Expos are considered a low-revenue team, with a payroll of
about $38.7 million. While that may seem high, their payroll is
29th out of 30 teams, as the league average is $67.5 million. The
New York Yankees have the highest payroll at $125.9 million.
While college players aren’t paid (at least legally),
baseball doesn’t produce the revenue that other sports at
UCLA do. The Expos don’t produce the revenue the other teams
do; that is why they have a low payroll.
Another reason for contracting the Expos is their terrible
attendance. So far this season, the Expos have only averaged 8,143
fans, a league low. Le Stade Olympique holds seven times that
amount, making every Expos home game look like a candy shop after
it has been visited by Roseanne.
However, as bad as the Expos’ attendance is, the UCLA
baseball team’s attendance has been far worse. The Bruins
have averaged only 444 fans at Jackie Robinson Stadium. One wonders
if Jackie Robinson wore No. 42 because that was the number of fans
that would go to watch his games at UCLA.
Both the Expos and the UCLA baseball team are overshadowed by
other teams, which could greatly factor into the low attendance and
lack of fan interest. In Montreal, hockey is king. The Montreal
Canadiens are the most storied franchise in the National Hockey
League. They have won 22 Stanley Cups and made it to finals 29
times.
For UCLA, the men’s basketball team has been so great that
a coach can be hated for winning 70 percent of his games. The team
has won 11 championships, and fans expect a Final Four team every
single year.
While the Canadiens and UCLA men’s basketball team have
been dominant, the Expos and the Bruin baseball team have not. The
Expos have never been to a World Series, and the UCLA baseball team
has never won a national championship.
Not only do the Expos and UCLA baseball not win championships,
they have been performing badly. Granted, the Expos have gotten off
to a fast start this year, but they have had seven straight losing
seasons. The UCLA baseball team is currently 20-25, a winning
percentage of .444.
Selig and the owners claim that they can benefit financially
from contracting the Expos.
Likewise, UCLA sports can benefit from contracting the baseball
team. With the team gone, the other sports at UCLA can have a
contraction draft in the confines of the Morgan Center, drafting
current UCLA baseball players.
Incoming athletic director and former Bruin baseball player Dan
Guerrero, forced against his will, would use my top secret
mathematical formula to conduct the draft. I took the liberty of
aligning all of the sports teams in order of a combination of
prestige, greatness and history. In the interest of fairness and
Title IX, players would also go to women’s teams.
With the first pick, men’s basketball would choose pitcher
Wade Clark. Steve Lavin could use a rebounder, and Clark is
6-foot-7, 235 pounds. Football would end up choosing outfielder
Adam Berry at No. 2, a big guy Bob Toledo might be able to convert
into a defensive lineman. Next, softball would choose catcher Josh
Arhart. Hey, even Stacey Nuveman needs a back-up.
Baseball head coach Gary Adams, known for his fiery speeches,
would end up as an assistant men’s basketball coach to give
Lavin’s players some heart.
But no, I don’t actually think that the UCLA baseball team
should be contracted. Adams is a very successful coach, being the
13th winningest coach in NCAA history, and I’m confident the
Bruins will start winning again.
I was just trying to show how ridiculous the idea of contraction
is, and I’m praying that Major League Baseball will find a
better solution. Hopefully, Selig and the owners have a heart and a
brain. Vivant Les Expos!