Hella issues: Lakers, Kings rivalry marked by bravado

  Daniel Miller If you know the crafty
culprits who tarnish the hall and bathroom stalls of Hedrick 7
North with posters calling for the abolition of Standard Time, give
Miller a tip at dnmiller@ucla.edu.
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What’s the deal with Sacramento Kings fans?

I’m a kid from Los Angeles, and I never thought I was
sheltered until I moved into the dorms at UCLA and began to live
among this staunch faction.

I will preface this column by noting that I am not some
bandwagon-hopping joker; I am a true fan, I remember Showtime.

I realize that if I were from Sacramento I would make the Kings
my priority in life ““ I would also use the prefix
“hella,” whatever that means ““ but I have trouble
understanding the true insanity that some Kings fans exhibit.

The Kings play quality basketball. Yet, over the last two years
the Lakers have played better, showing Sacramento the door in the
playoffs both years en route to consecutive NBA championships. So,
that explains some of the fans’ frustration. Now, let’s
try to understand the root of this frightening devotion.

Two friends who also call Hedrick 7 North their home help me
understand this rivalry on a daily basis. Neighbors Cameron Corda
of Sacramento and Trent Nelson of Inglewood ““ “I
live five minutes from the Forum,” Nelson noted ““
provide me with insight I could never find myself.

Corda on his love for the Kings: “I love the Kings because
they have got flair and facial hair,” he said. “No
team plays with more style, and no team has the beards and five
o’clock shadows of our beloved Europeans.”

Alright.

All that facial hair hasn’t stopped the Kings from losing
two of three matchups with the Lakers this season; however, the
Kings are currently in first place in the Western Conference, and
the Lakers trail Sacramento by one and a half games.

A microcosm of the rivalry is played out on Nelson’s Sega
Dreamcast nightly, as up to four of us battle in NBA 2K2 at once;
usually it is the Lakers versus the Kings. Not known for taking
losses well, Nelson breaks a controller every so often. He bought a
stockpile of controllers a few weeks ago, and the surplus should
last him the rest of the year. We hope.

I’ve heard Kings fans gloat about their perch atop the
Western Conference, and while I am shocked at their audacity, I am
reminded of equally outrageous boasting and posturing by
Lakers fans. A friend of mine decided that Kings followers are
really not that boisterous, and the only reason their fans seem so
loud is the Arco Arena’s optimal acoustics. This may or may
not be the case.

Nelson is not one to hold back on the anti-Kings rhetoric while
pushing pro-Lakers propaganda.

Explaining his love for the Lakers he said, “I really
started liking the Lakers in about 1993 when (Nick) Van Exel came
to the team. Then they got Kobe (Bryant), which was the greatest
move ever because they got rid of a tall piece of trash that thinks
he has a jump shot in Vlade (Divac), who is now on a garbage team,
the Kings. Then we got big Shaquille (O’Neal), one of the
greatest big men in the league. I knew we were on the way then.

“Why would you play in such a garbage town as Sacramento?
That would be crazy. (Chris) Webber is just mad that he ain’t
playing with big Shaq and Kobe and winning
championships.”

Personally, I wouldn’t call Sacramento a garbage town, but
it definitely has an inferiority complex. Talk about a weak state
capitol. Boston represents Massachusetts nicely. I could think of
another city in Southern California that deserves that
distinguished position.

While it is difficult not to get caught up in the boldness and
bravado, I do realize that the Lakers will not win another
championship simply because they are the Lakers. The road to
victory will be tough and it will probably go through the
Kings.

Corda’s reasoning for his hatred of the Lakers is
fascinating and perplexing, indicative of the crazy Kings
devotees’ questionable psychological state.

“I hate the Lakers because they always beat the
Kings!” he said. “This is Hollywood, and what Hollywood
script has the favored team winning? Sacramento should play the
role of the cow-towners that practice in their barns. We are the
Hoosiers, and this year the script will finally reward the
underdog.”

Hey cow-towners, the Hoosiers lost the championship Monday
night.

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