Scott Schultz Big Scott believes that
the instant replay is the greatest innovation the NFL has come up
with since the concept of using prisoners on furlough as snow plow
operators. He can be reached at sschultz@media.ucla.edu.
Cal, the Crown Jewel of the UC system, is more like fool’s gold
when it comes to graduating men’s basketball players.
Maybe I’m a little bitter, because like many of my peers here in
Westwood, my decision to attend UCLA was sealed after receiving my
notification that the admissions board was obviously high on those
notorious Berkley hallucinogens when they read my application and
passed on their opportunity for greatness by not granting me
admission into their intellectual community. But I am objective,
and the truth is dismaying. While Cal graduates 82 percent of their
freshmen within five years, only 18 percent of their men’s
basketball players can make the same claim.
The stat comes from the NCAA’s Web site, in the section titled
"graduation rates." The percentage covers the four-class period
beginning in 1994-95. The sad part of this all, besides the obvious
mercenary tactics of the Cal Athletic Department and coaches, is
that their players aren’t dropping out to rake in millions of
guaranteed dollars in the NBA, like the players who leave early
from UCLA (graduates 36 percent), Arizona (13 percent) or Duke (73
percent). Cal sends very few players to the NBA.
It’s obvious that Cal is recruiting players who they think can
win games, but not actually graduate. The fact that they can’t do
either successfully is a testament to their program’s
ineptitude.
So for fun, when you watch the game today, try to guess which
Cal player will get his diploma. E-mail me your guesses, and in
June 2006, I’ll announce the winner, who I will teleport to my
virtual home on some island in the South Pacific, where we’ll go
fishing for cyber-marlin.
***
One has to wonder what budget UCLA athletic director Peter Dalis
is perusing when he makes comments like he did last week at the
press conference announcing Bob Toledo’s contract extension.
For those of you who are not aware, Dalis stated that he would
like to give both Toledo and men’s head basketball coach Steve
Lavin raises before he effectively retires.
Meanwhile, California Gov. Gray Davis has denied the UC faculty
and staff cost-of-living increases to their salaries, even though
the coaches make much greater salaries than the teachers. That same
faculty is saddled with the responsibility of keeping UCLA ranked
in the only top-25 list that matters ˆ the U.S. News’ top 25
universities in the country. After all, the majority of the
students are here for their education … right?
***
After reviewing the highlights of the NCAA convention, which was
held in Indianapolis last week, I was shocked to find the powers
that be neglected to add more bowl games to the football
schedule.
Why are they settling for a mere 25 bowl games, when there is
lots more money they can bleed from their employees ˆ I mean
student athletes ˆ on the gridiron? I think it’s time the NCAA
requires all teams who achieve a .500 record or higher to attend a
mandatory bowl game, even if it means the school will have to lose
money.
After the success of this year”šs hockey game in Boise,
Idaho (aka the Humanitarian Bowl) unveiled the potential of outdoor
football games in the Snow Belt during January, I think the only
logical solution is to add bowl games in other neglected northern
cities, like Portland, Maine (The Lobster Bowl), Nome, Alaska (The
Dogpile.com Bowl) or perhaps a bowl game in Calgary, Alberta Canada
(The Klondike Bar Bowl).
The NCAA needs to squeeze every penny it can out of its cheap
labor before it’s required to pay the athletes a wage …
right?
Oh yeah, that’s right. The NCAA is about preventing student
athletes from being exploited for their physical gifts …
Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha!
***
Speaking of amateur athletics, I had the privilege of witnessing
the running of the Olympic Torch last week, when the procession
passed through Los Angeles.
Kim Shool, a kindergarten teacher from West Covina, allowed me
to hold her torch when I interviewed her after she completed her
two-tenths of a mile. The flame was off, but I could still feel the
heat in the palm of my hand, and it sent shivers through my body
that I felt for days afterwards.
It was definitely the thrill of my life, and I had to get the
story out of my system, because my friends at The Bruin and in my
hometown of Marblehead, Mass., are sick of hearing it.
I held the torch! Whooo!