Chat leads to impersonal talks

  Ariana Brookes Brookes is a third-year
English student who mourns the loss of flannel and River Phoenix.
E-mail her at abrookes@ucla.edu.
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Ah, the 21st century is a time of technology when all the world
is at your fingertips. The 21st century is a time when I barely
pick up the phone anymore. The 21st century is a time when it is
conceivable that most of the arguments that I have with my brother
are in relation to the fact that I need to use the computer to sign
on to the source of all that is good ““ AOL Instant
Messenger.

We all do it. We all talk on “IM”. We get hooked
when we live in the dorms because of the fact that we can talk on
the phone and use our IM at the same time. Even those of us who
have never talked on the Internet before in our lives find
ourselves addicted. We find ourselves having an hour long
conversation with our friend who lives down the hall, via IM,
rather than just heading down to their room. After all, IM is so
convenient and so very useful.

The Internet, and IM specifically, is the mode of conversation
for our generation. Sure, we still talk on the phone and we see our
friends, but with our busy lives of school and work, IM becomes the
logical solution to our lack of time. It allows us to talk to our
friends and still do other things, such as writing papers, at the
same time. In addition, while talking on the phone requires, for
most of us anyway, a certain amount of concentration, IM is
completely non-committal in that it requires very little work to
carry on a conversation.

This makes IM very appealing to the average coed. It’s
easy, it’s fast, and it’s impersonal. You can keep a
conversation short and to the point, or ramble on for hours at a
time, and neither are questioned. It is basically a way of being
social in a completely anti-social way. In all honesty, what could
be better? You get many of the benefits of an interaction with
another person, with a minimal amount of effort.

  Illustration by JASON CHEN/Daily Bruin Senior Staff

Due to the fact that IM is so convenient for the typical college
student, it’s usage has become widespread. It seems nearly
everyone is online, and thus the concept of an “IM
name” has become almost as common as that of the telephone
number. It has gotten to the point where one would almost rather
ask someone for their IM name, than for their number. Why deal with
the work factor of calling someone up on the phone, when you can
easily conduct a conversation with them on the computer?

The convenience of the IM conversation also lends itself to
dating. Whereas the idea of asking someone whom you are interested
in for their phone number can be quite intimidating, asking someone
for their IM name is as impersonal as asking for their e-mail
address. A phone number carries the connotation of asking someone
out for a date, but an IM name implies a completely impersonal
work, school or casual friendship or relationship.

You know how it is. You start talking to a cute guy or girl who
sits near you in class and before you know it, you are exchanging
e-mail addresses and IM names, just in case you “have any
questions about the homework.” You put them on your
“buddy list” and therefore, whenever you sign on and
they are on as well, you make sure to say hi to them, and maybe
have a chat. Before you know it, you are chatting online everyday
about nothing in particular and saving seats for each other in
class. Pretty soon it’s, “Hey, do you want to go see a
movie sometime?”

This brings me to my next point. The best thing about talking
over IM is that you can’t see the person whom you are talking
to, or even hear their voice. You don’t have to look the
person in the face, which pretty much serves to dissolve about 95
percent of your inhibitions. Since they can’t hear your
voice, the conversation is nearly devoid of emotion. If someone
takes something that you said the wrong way, you can always avoid
embarrassment by turning it into a joke with the addition of one of
those addictive smiley faces . All of this results in conversations
that are incredibly flirty, because it’s fun, and there are
no repercussions. You can flirt to your heart’s content, and
the person won’t suspect a thing.

And this is exactly the problem with IM. It is perhaps the most
misleading form of conversation on the planet. Everything that is
said to you on IM must be taken with a grain of salt, for the sake
of your own sanity. Due to the fact that talking on IM is so
impersonal, and unrevealing, it is often very unrealistic as well.
When you talk on IM, it is more like you are having a conversation
with a persona than an actual person. You are both playing roles,
in which you script out what you are going to say before you
actually say it. It is a game, not a conversation.

When it gets down to it, IM is just another symbol of how far
removed our generation is. It is a way to talk to someone else,
without really having to talk to them. It is a way to avoid human
contact, or at least human contact that is based in reality. It is
a way to become the person that you really want to be … the one
who always says the perfect thing and is never shy. You can think
about things before you say them and you don’t have to look
the person in the face. Thus you come off as calm, cool and
collected as you’ve always wanted to be.

Which is why I say that IM is great. I’m all for it. It
definitely serves a purpose. It’s fun, it’s a great
distraction when you’re trying to write a paper, and
it’s an easy way to establish a rapport with someone. I just
think it is a little scary the way IM is becoming one of the
dominant methods of communication in a world where the letter is
nearly extinct and the phone is becoming less and less
desirable.

It is said that nowadays there is almost no need for someone to
leave the house and I don’t think that is too far from the
truth. Could we be heading toward a time where interpersonal
relationships will be but the virtual reality of the Internet? It
is really a horrifying thought.

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