Everyone likes to think that they’re deep, high-minded
intellectuals. We buy a token classical CD to seem cultured, shop
at Trader Joe’s to pretend that we really need those hand
made tortillas and talk about Freudian slips like we actually know
what they are. Everyone who’s ever taken Philosophy 1 or read
“Beowulf” suddenly thinks that they’re entitled
to some sort of superiority.
Well, I’m giving up on that.
Why? OK, it’s not like I was exactly the most highbrow guy
in the first place, but a recent trip to the movies has convinced
me that any of my attempts to be mature and cultured are just a
foolish waste of time.
Like Peter Pan, I think I’ll renounce this whole growing
up thing in favor of living to be a kid again.
After slapping down my $7.50 to see “Chicken Run,” I
know that kids movies will always be the best films ever made.
Forget “Casablanca” and “Citizen Kane,” I
don’t think you’re ever going to find creativity like
that expressed in animated films. In fact, if Ginger the Chicken
doesn’t win Best Actress this year, I’m going to
renounce entertainment altogether.
I know this probably sounds pretty ludicrous, that a bunch of
barnyard animals made out of clay are better than the great actors
of the past, but as far as I’m concerned, it’s
true.
Does Paul Newman have the charisma of Rocky the Rooster? Can
Steven Spielberg direct as tense a scene as the chickens’
attempted escapes from their impending pot pie doom? Is Mike Myers
as funny as those weird ultra-capitalist rats?
I think not.
Maybe it’s the nature of the medium. A good animation
director can get his “actors” to do exactly what he
wants ““ he just has his artists render the scene that way.
Most of the people working on big productions like “Chicken
Run” or the “Toy Story” series can create just
about anything.
It’s a little harder for a real actor to do that ““
not to say that Newman and Myers aren’t great actors or
anything, just that they’re limited by the fact that
they’re human beings. They can’t make their eyes bulge
out in fear or drop their jaws to the floor in surprise the way an
animated character can.
I don’t think it’s just technical stuff, though. No,
there’s something more than that that makes kids movies more
creative than their grown-up cousins.
Directors of kids movies have to be just a little more clever
than a regular filmmaker since directors are trying to appeal to
audiences who can already dream up wild fantasy worlds ““ and
probably do each time their teacher brings up the subject of math
or history.
Let’s use a scene from “Toy Story 2″ for
example. As the intrepid Buzz Lightyear and his compatriots are
trying to bust into a giant toy store, they find themselves
hampered by the pressure mat at the entrance. Since they’re
all toys, they don’t have enough mass to trip the sensor to
open the door and get in. They try jumping up and dow ““ no
luck, it doesn’t budge.
When Buzz is struck by a fit of genius and orders his fellow
toys instead to jump in unison, they are able to get enough force
and, voilà , instant access.
Maybe I’m just easily amused or something, but I thought
that was absolutely brilliant. You’re not going to find
George Clooney telling his fishermen to jump up and down on a giant
mat to save their boat in “The Perfect Storm.”
Admittedly, that would be a little odd, but I hope you can see
my point. No one would think to do something like that in a regular
movie, they just try to blow you away with really neat special
effects. Nothing is as special as pure creativity, though. Big
waves and lightsabers be damned, the various chicken-launchers that
Nick Park and his team figured out for “Chicken Run”
are way neater than anything Industrial Light and Magic can dream
up.
With this in mind, it’s not like all kids films are great.
A lot of the things designed for children are just, well, dumb.
I’d be embarrassed to let my kid watch half the garbage
that’s designed for children most of the time.
But by and large, the best examples of entertainment that
I’ve seen in a long time were designed to appeal to the
elementary school scene.
In writing this, I’ve pulled back many, many times and
said, “Good lord, what are you doing? You’re saying
that a movie aimed at children is better than something written for
intelligent, thinking adults. Maybe you just don’t get
regular movies “˜cause you’re too damn dumb.”
Well, ok, I didn’t use that exact phrasing many, many
times, but you get the idea.
And maybe that’s it. Maybe I really am just an idiot who
stumbled into college, and none of it’s rubbed off on me. I
don’t particularly care, though. Perhaps my fondness for the
simple pleasures in life is a sign that my intelligence is
somewhere down there with the knuckle-draggers and half-wits, but
at least I’m happy. I don’t really think that movies
like “Chicken Run” or “Toy Story” are
mindless entertainment, though.
They’re intelligent, too, just by different standards
than, say, some of the flicks that premier down at the art-house
theaters.
It all boils down to this: I’m not saying that everyone
should renounce regular films and spend all their time watching
Nickelodeon, it’s just that the kids section of
Blockbuster’s got a lot to offer, too.
Next time you’re looking for something a little different
from the standard date-comedy or shoot-em-up, take a trip back to
your childhood. It’s a pretty fun ride.