Monday, September 28, 1998
Food for thought
FOOD: ASUCLA provides
a variety of delectable – and detestable – eating options
By Louise Chu
Daily Bruin Staff
A civil war of sorts has broken out on the food courts of UCLA.
North vs. South, Kerckhoff vs. Northern Lights, Kikka vs. Jimmy …
Everyone take cover in the Bombshelter!
The competition among the Associated Students of UCLA (ASUCLA)
restaurants is not one for the big bucks – the money will all
eventually go to the same hole in the wall. Rather, this is a
battle for honor, integrity and more work for the unfortunate
employees of the No. 1 pick; this is the battle for The Best ASUCLA
Restaurant on Campus.
Italian Food
The beloved Pasta Resistance in the demolished Treehouse is now
just another statistic. This leaves Coop Pizza (Cooperage), Pizza
Paparazzo (North Campus Student Center) and the shrewdly named
Italian Cuisine (Lu Valle Commons) to cater to students’ pepperoni
pizza and spinach lasagna cravings.
The crust unfresh and pasty, the cheese rubbery, the tomato
sauce thin and bland, ASUCLA pizza provides an eerie reminder of
why sack lunches were requisite in high school cafeterias. As the
best of the worst, Coop Pizza manages to approach mediocrity the
closest with sub-par "regular" pizzas but appealing "extreme"
versions, which have a flavorful abundance of toppings.
Pizza Paparazzo competes well with its hearty portions of
lasagna, but the glut of pasta and shortage of vegetable or meat
filling keeps it a close second to Italian Cuisine.
Asian Food
The culinary cesspool of quality Asian food that is Westwood
finds its roots in ASUCLA’s feeble imitations of Panda Express.
Despite their shortcomings (and there are many), rice bowls have
become a staple of the school day – portable, inexpensive and
reasonably filling.
Bruin Wok (North Campus) and Asian Cuisine (Lu Valle) are in a
heated duel for the worst Asian food – possibly even the worst food
– on campus. The victor would weigh heavily on diners’ greater
disgust for the water-thin sauces and sand-dry chicken of Bruin Wok
or the unsettling addition of fat-encrusted chicken skin dangling
off each chunk of meat in rice bowls from Asian Cuisine.
Bombshelter Deli’s unnamed nook maintains the most promising
interpretation of the white rice, vegetable and chicken concoction
by cleverly avoiding the pitfalls of its competitors. With chicken
chunks equally as dry as the other two restaurants, the South
Campus fixture mashes its chicken into shreds and drenches it in
the teriyaki-flavored sauce, providing the tastiest rice bowl of
the three.
The most interesting Asian culinary option on campus also
belongs to the Bombshelter. In a cozy little niche across from the
rice bowls, Pacific Rice & Noodle Traders offers an eclectic
selection of pseudo-Asian delights, including jerk chicken (since
when did Jamaica move to the Pacific?) over udon noodles and
chicken marinara (whoa, geography lessons galore!). Those stranded
on campus will find relief here from the banality of burgers and
pizza.
Burgers
A beef patty, a bun sliced horizontally in half, lettuce,
tomatoes, a pickle chip or two … The assembly of this American
classic seems simple enough, yet it has been mastered by few.
ASUCLA restaurants present strong efforts and manage to satisfy
midday In-N-Out appetites with a burger joint for each corner of
campus.
The Roadside Grill mini-franchise, located in Lu Valle,
Bombshelter and Cooperage, offers a creative menu from the Chicken
Club (grilled chicken breast, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, Swiss
cheese, bacon, sprouts) to the San Francisco Burger (quarter-pound
beef patty, Swiss cheese, teriyaki sauce, sauteed mushrooms), each
item sold a la carte or with spicy or regular fries. Omnivores will
delight in the juicy, savory hamburgers and chicken sandwiches, but
disappointment looms for the vegetarian.
Although flexibility in the menu allows patrons to substitute
any meat with a vegetarian patty, the result is a dry, overcooked,
poorly seasoned slab of grains and vegetable protein. Best Burgers
On Campus, concisely labeled BBOC (North Campus), does not
necessarily live up to its name, but it produces the tastiest
version of the veggie burger with a more tender and flavorful
patty.
Mexican Food
Farewell, De Nuevo (Cooperage). UCLA will miss your rancid
guacamole and questionable enchiladas. May your successor, Pure
Chicken Heaven, serve patrons with healthier, more palatable
dishes.
With the void left by De Nuevo’s demise, Holy Mole (North
Campus) must bear the entire burden of supplying the campus’
demands for burritos and tostada salads. It’s a void that’s better
left unfilled.
The sole ASUCLA Mexican food option (aside from the national
franchise Taco Bell in Campus Corner) serves a limited variety of
dishes, highlighted by an adequate tostada salad. It is difficult
to ruin a simple salad, but Holy Mole’s stale, under-fried shell
proves that there is a way.
Students who have an extended lunch may enjoy a hot barbeque,
semi-Mexican style. Located in front of North Campus Student Center
and at the back of Bombshelter, the outdoor grills cook up a
lip-smacking barbequed chicken with a California-Mexican flair. The
generous portions of tortilla chips and beans contribute to a full
belly by the end of the lunch hour.
Sandwiches
This popular American lunch staple is featured in a whopping six
restaurants, each incarnation taking different twists and turns
with the old bread-turkey-mustard standby. By far the most
outstanding – and most expensive – version is Grab ‘N Go Gourmet,
located in both North Campus and Bombshelter. Their panini-style
sandwiches include the interesting addition of such ingredients as
avocado, bacon and pesto. But weight-watchers should look elsewhere
for lighter fare.
Bombshelter’s deli and Delitos (Lu Valle) offer a competent
array of sandwich components to fill anyone’s made-to-order needs.
The result is standard and forgettable. ASUCLA’s other
mini-franchise, Sub Section (Lu Valle and Campus Corner), display
starkly different products in its two locations. While stale bread
and limp lettuce grace the Lu Valle site, Campus Corner’s new
addition compiles attractive, generously portioned subs that would
overwhelm any hungry student on a meager budget. Perhaps the
difference is because the fledgling restaurant is just off to a
flying start. Either way, diners should milk it while it lasts.
Soup and salad
The delicate balance of broth, chunks of vegetable or meat and
spices is a precarious one in a good bowl of soup. Often this ideal
lunch item is tucked away in the corners of campus eateries as a
secondary thought. And it often tastes like one.
Soup in Cafe Alfresco (Cooperage) and Lu Valle are fine for
those who revel in Campbell’s flair. But for those who crave a
hearty bowl that is worth passing up the burgers and sandwiches
that dominate the space, Kerckhoff Coffeehouse provides a delicious
cream of broccoli, especially when served in a bread boule. The
thick, well-seasoned chicken cream envelopes each bite-size cut of
broccoli. The bread boule initially appears too small for the
$3-plus spent for the meal, but it soon becomes clear that the size
is perfect for dipping. Any more would overkill the effects of the
creamy soup.
A great complement for soup would be a crisp salad. Luckily, the
best salad can be found in the next building. The Salad Shuffle’s
(Cooperage) 90-item salad bar has virtually every imaginable item
to top a bare plate of lettuce, spinach or mixed greens.
Salad-lovers should flock to the Coop’s best vegan option. That is,
unless a fly or two on the buffet would bother them. While the
salad bar is well-kept during peak hours, an unappetizing abundance
of flies plague the unattended area later in the day. Lunchers, be
sure to stop here before you ascend to Kerckhoff.
Coffee, desserts and pastries
It’s a debate that’s been long posed by coffee gourmets. The
lifeblood of late-night crammers, the jumpstart for foolish 8 a.m.
students, coffee is at the center of a heated controversy. Where
can you get the best cup o’ jo?
Alas, the debate is in vain, as all coffee flows from the same
source of beans, but distinct differences among the java houses
allow a clear winner.
Jimmy’s (Lu Valle) caters to a diverse range of thirsts, from
Thai iced coffee to ice-blended mochas. Jimmy brews a smooth cup of
house coffee, but the not-quite-right taste of the more complicated
drinks can only be explained by incompetent recipes. The
ice-blended mochas taste like a chalky carob shake, and Jimmy’s
Thai iced coffee is not worthy of the culture’s reputation for a
delicious iced drink.
Kerckhoff Coffeehouse is the campus landmark and ideal study
lounge. Whatever its appeal, its distinction does not lie in great
coffee. Often burnt or hours old, the quality of its brews
fluctuates from worker to worker. However, Kerckhoff compensates
for its coffee mishaps by having a mouth-watering variety of baked
goods and desserts, something the others lack. Here, patrons can
find cannolis, fruit tarts and cheese bagels to quell hunger pangs
until the next meal.
Of the three coffeehouses, Northern Lights offers the most
limited selection, but perhaps concentration on the basics allows
them to hone their coffee skills in an aromatic house brew, a fresh
cappuccino and a digestible Cappuccino Royale.
The Rest
These culinary misfits do not qualify in any specific category,
but don’t be quick to ostracize the labelly challenged.
Crunch Time’s deep-fried smorgasbord treats the taste buds to
guilty – but finger-, fork- and plate-licking – pleasure.
Pure Chicken Heaven (PCH) rises to fill De Nuevo’s shoes, even
bursting its stale seams. Fried, roasted, baked, grilled – PCH is a
heaven of poultry delights, although not as much can be said for
actual taste or volume. Despite a well-accompanying relish and
mouth-watering specials, an unattractive, insipid Original Recipe
bird and unfulfilling portions hinder the service line from
achieving the pinnacle of ASUCLA honors.
The Best
Health nuts, beware. Amidst the stirring controversy with the
arrival of another artery-clogging fry hole, Crunch Time emerges as
the best ASUCLA restaurant. Although the deep-fried goodies need
better oil drainage, the menu’s flexibility, the mind-boggling
options and the items’ fresh, crispy texture win Crunch Time the
sought-after title.
Rarely in a similar restaurant can diners completely assemble
their own lunch combinations. Chicken strips or chicken wings?
Mozzarella or zucchini sticks? Catalina Cocktail sauce or Jalapeno
Cheddar? Or why not have it all with the Mega-Munch Combo for only
$4.60?
Subsequently, Crunch Time’s culinary excellence gives Cooperage
an extra boost to snag the final victory: The Best ASUCLA
eatery.
Ultimately, the real competition among ASUCLA restaurants is not
defined by savory cuts of meat or aromatic blends of coffee. The
true test is in how well diners can stomach their meal (or whether
they can at all).
The occasional gems show that the art of cuisine is not dead in
the hills of Westwood. Crunch Time, Northern Lights, Coop Pizza, to
the victors go the spoils … (if it isn’t spoiled already).
CHARLES KUO
A tostada from Holy Mole and a two-item combo with citrus
chicken and Kung Pao chicken from Bruin Wok are two choices for
on-campus meals. Both restaurants are located in North Campus.
Comments, feedback, problems?
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