Friday, April 24, 1998
Men: Eighth Wonder of World?
RELATIONSHIPS: Charm, intelligence appealing qualities of male
gender
Nowadays it has become very hip to bash the opposite gender. I,
too, have flung a few insults, made a few demeaning remarks in my
time. But, as I have been told by my male friends, I really like
guys.
I’m not talking about sex here – at least not right now. I’m
just discussing what I truly enjoy about the testosterone-laden
gender.
I’ll be the first to admit it: Men confuse me. As far as I’m
concerned, the male gender is the Eighth Wonder of the World. No
matter how many men I meet, I still don’t understand them. But I
have learned this mystery, this fascination, is just one of the
many aspects of men that I like. There are many more.
Intelligence: A man who knows what he’s talking about can
command my attention any day. Although men often flaunt their
knowledge as if we should all bow down and admire their incredible
genius, sometimes, one runs into a man who has no idea how truly
intelligent he really is. A man who understands politics or art,
someone who can explain Krebs’ Cycle or a complicated physics
equation without hesitation or pomp, a man like this has so much
potential.
There are a few men who are so brilliant that women will gladly
sit and listen to whatever they have to say. After all, an
intelligent man is sexy … everyone knows that.
Honesty: You can always count on a guy to tell you the truth. I
know, I know – there are plenty of liars out there, but you have to
remember that the minute you cross the friendship line, it’s a
completely different ball park.
Male friends will tell you exactly what you need to hear. If
you’re interested in a guy, your male friend will tell you if you
even have a chance – or if you should try another league, like one
you could actually contend in. Sometimes, although I acknowledge
it’s rare, male friends can be relatively subtle and sensitive. If
you’re trying on a dress and ask a male friend if you look fat,
he’s likely to say, "Well, I liked that other one better." He would
rather give you a diplomatic criticism and risk your being angry
for that moment, rather than have you look like an idiot in
public.
Emotional stability: OK, girls, don’t get pissed. Give me a sec
to explain myself. Many women I know, including myself, have mood
swings that even I can’t wade through. I think this is because of
the sociological invention that is PMS. I have a theory that it
doesn’t actually exist, but in order to fit the expectations that
women are born with (to be slaves to our emotions), we tend to live
up to the idea of PMS. In fact, we are allowed by society, in
general, to be more emotional than men are. Sometimes, I like being
the emotional one with a guy. He can sit there and listen, but I
get to bawl and scream. There’s something delicious about that. Of
course, I can return the favor too; a man who allows me to be the
strong one every now and then is someone who is communicating his
trust – and a man’s trust is an invaluable asset to any woman.
Humor: Again, because of the constraints that are placed on
women by society (and by ourselves), some women tend to shy away
from making comments which would portray us in a negative fashion,
meaning we don’t want to come off as a "bitch" or "slut" (names you
boys fling out so willingly) when we say certain things. Often, the
men are the funny ones, and the women are the ones laughing.
But, when a woman finds a really good guy friend, she can let
down her guard and make sex jokes or flirt shamelessly; she can be
the one making everyone else laugh. In this safe environment, a
woman’s humor is a valued counterpart to a man’s. Just think of
your best friend of the opposite sex – don’t you have the most fun
when you’re bagging on them?
Charm: What does it mean to be charming? A Webster’s definition
won’t suffice. Charm is something irresistible, something you can’t
always put your finger on. Men with charm are incredibly
attractive. An infectious sense of humor, a way of treating a woman
like a lady (without being condescending), having a way with kids –
these are all charming aspects. I would choose a man with charm
over a "pretty boy" any day. Besides, who wants a guy who spends
more time primping in the bathroom than I do?
A generous way of expressing affection: Sometimes, hugging a man
can make me blush. Men have this incredible ability to make a woman
feel so soft and feminine, whether the hug is light and quick or
tight and long – it serves as an instant reminder of everything
that I love about that particular man. Sometimes the displays are
less obvious – a tap on the hand, a punch in the arm, a tousle of
the hair. Men will also dish out the best compliments, and, for
some reason, women tend to believe their compliments more readily.
It’s that tightrope between friendship and a romantic relationship
that women and men walk that makes affection all the more enticing.
A little flirtation can be dangerous, but it also keeps things
interesting.
An ability to make the strongest woman weak: At this very moment
I am contemplating how to inform a guy that I am interested in him.
The prospect of the conversation makes me so excitable, I’d rather
not dwell on it. It’s this kind of anxiety that men incite in me
that is so rare, it’s glaringly noticeable. When a normally
confident woman spends hours calculating the probability of whether
the guy she likes will or will not like her – that’s a very
exciting thing. That means that guy must have something so
wonderfully appealing about him, it makes that particular woman
weak. No matter what a woman tells you, we love that feeling.
Nothing is better than a man who makes my knees sway with
nervousness.
An ability to infuriate me: I have been told that the men in my
life make me more angry more often than should be allowed by law. I
admit it – at times, men infuriate me. They also make me nervous,
shy and aroused. In short, men bring out the passion in me.
Although that may sometimes lead to disagreements and tears, I much
prefer furious or sad passion over boredom.
Loyalty: My male friends make me feel so needed. Once a woman
has earned a man’s trust, he will stick to her like glue. You see,
she’s his key to the sex he doesn’t understand, and therefore, an
incredibly valuable asset. Men value having a woman around,
especially when their girlfriends aren’t or when they can’t quite
figure out how to secure a girlfriend in the first place. These men
will gladly insult anyone who hurts me and sometimes they will even
threaten them with physical harm. Although I’d never take a guy up
on it, there is something inherently comforting about a male friend
offering to kick someone else’s ass on demand.
Physical attributes: This is what you guys are all waiting for,
right? I like your "packages." No, dears, you guys like your
penises with an almost sick admiration. And I wouldn’t demean you
by calling them "packages." You underestimate my sensitivity. No,
there is much more to a man than his penis. If you ask a woman what
physically appeals to her in a man, you will probably get answers
you weren’t even expecting.
In both male friends and romantic interests, I have the same
fetishes. I love the male chest and the arms. I love the space
between the shoulder blades of a man. I like their hands, their
hair, their smell. And, believe it or not, I can admire all these
things about men without wanting to sleep with them. I simply like
them. And there are a lot of women who feel that way, so don’t
assume a compliment is a pick-up line, all right?
So, men are great. Not all men, but quite a few men out there
make me very happy to be a woman. You see, as a woman, I can
acknowledge their admirable traits without feeling ostracized. Men
have a tendency to shy away from saying good things about each
other. Now, if I can admit that men are so admirable at times, when
will one of you have the nerve to say the same thing about
women?
Soon, I hope.