Monday, March 9, 1998
Do not despair: Decent theater can be found in Los Angeles
COLUMN: Missed cues and blown fuses make live performance
exciting
I’ve been writing for the Daily Bruin for almost a year now and
I can say for certain that nobody who is not related to me has ever
read one of my articles. I don’t mind really, I don’t. It’s not
like you’ll see me on top of Royce Hall with an uzi anytime
soon.
I understand that the articles I write (theater articles for the
most part) are articles that fill up space and that nobody is
interested in them. It’s OK, I get to meet interesting people and
see plays for free. I get to hear about my editor’s thong and how
it’s riding up her ass. Sometimes, I get food after a show and they
have booze and they don’t card me. I drive home absolutely
sloshed.
But I used to be in New York where theater is part of the
mainstream. People not only care about it, they’re proud of it.
It’s a nice feeling, especially when you are a theater-oriented
person.
Here in Los Angeles, the movie industry rules and there are no
real theater districts to be found. The closest people get to
seeing live theater is getting a hold of that Tommy and Pamela Lee
sex video.
And it’s true, a lot of the plays I see for The Bruin aren’t
that good. In fact, they’re actually pretty bad. I saw one where
the lights blew out halfway through the second act and the audience
had to sit in total darkness for 15 minutes. I saw one play where a
professional actor actually called for a line during a show.
I saw one play called "Social Security" and it seemed as though
most of the audience thought they were going to get their social
security. I was the only one under the age of 90. You don’t know
how many times I heard one man say "What the hell are they talking
about? I can’t here a word. Speak up!" It was depressing. I could
barely hear the actors over the sound of wheezing and IVs
dripping.
And to be honest, I’m really tired of a lot of the theater in
this city. A lot of the plays I see are about as interesting as
watching chimps mate. Sure, it might be funny for a moment or two,
but try watching it for two hours.
I’m tired of seeing movie actors trying to pay their rent by
doing theater. It’s obvious they don’t have the love for live
performing and they suck like the Spice Girls. Take that simile any
way you like.
And I swear to God, if I have to see one more play about a
struggling scriptwriter, I’m going to put a bullet through my
head.
So I understand why most people don’t go to the theater and I’m
not bitter. But I want to assure you, there is good theater in Los
Angeles. I know, I’ve seen it. It’s just hard to know where it
is.
In New York, you’ve obviously got Broadway. World famous. The
closer the theater is to Broadway and 42nd Street, the less likely
it is that the play will suck. So how do you find the good theaters
in Los Angeles? Well, they’re kind of like erogenous zones: you
find where they are and then you prod them until that person
squeals.
There’s no theater district here so you’ve got to find certain
theaters and companies that do good theater. The Odyssey Theater is
close to UCLA (at Sepulveda and Olympic) and they’ve got great
stuff pretty much all the time. They’ve got three theaters to top
it off, like a multiplex live theater house. Playhouses in West
Hollywood also usually have good theater. Read reviews and remember
what theaters get the good reviews consistently.
But my point is lost on you, I suppose. Movies are cheaper, so
why not see movies?
I was 7 when I saw my first play and it knocked me off my feet
in a way that no movie had been able to and I had seen "E.T." and
the "Star Wars" trilogy by that time. The fact that those people
are right there in front of you, living, is a great feeling.
There’s a feeling of electricity when you see a good play. It’s
kind of like asking why people go to concerts. Because unless it’s
Beck, the live show is always better than the CD. There’s a dynamic
there that you just don’t get even in the best movies. Even when
the plays have been bad, the people I have gone with had a great
time (they could be lying bastards but let’s assume they aren’t).
There’s something sickly satisfying about watching an actor drop a
line or see the actors sweat when the lights blow out. Anything can
happen.
But when it’s a good play, you get engaged and all the struggles
and happiness the actors go through, you go through because you’re
right there. You’re their friend, you’re in it with them. And I
guarantee you, one good play is equivalent to 10 good movies (yes,
even "Titanic").
So for the five to 10 of you who are reading this article, I’ll
make you a deal: If you go to a play at the Odyssey or in West
Hollywood (one that’s gotten good reviews) and you don’t like it,
contact The Bruin, send me your ticket stub and I will gladly
reimburse you for half the price of the ticket.
If you do like it, I won’t be surprised.
Toussi is a second-year English student.
Sam Toussi