Friday, January 16, 1998
Who’ll draw more?
COLUMN
By Stephanie Sheh
Okay, so you’ve probably read the main story on this page and
know about the recent upsurge in feature-length animated films.
(And if not, boy did that lead totally not work.) Anyway, I’ll fill
in for those of you who are too lazy to do the reading: blah, blah,
blah, animation, blah, blah, everybody and his mother, brother, dog
and plumber are now coming out with their own animated film,
blah.
Oh, you can expect mine in the summer of 2010. And it will be
loosely based on some historical legend, but I’ll be sure to screw
up its accuracy so that, for example, Salome and John the Baptist
will, like, get married and have children. The audience can all go
home happy and hundreds of children will be confused when they
learn about the story in class.
And for good measure, I’ll throw in a couple of musical numbers.
You know, maybe a couple dancing heads on platters that kind of
thing. The songs won’t be particularly good, but they’ll all get
nominated for Oscars. And maybe Celine Dion will sing the radio
version.
But enough about my personal project. Here’s my beef: not only
is everyone and their mother, brother, dog and plumber doing an
animated film, but every star in Hollywood is suddenly the voice of
a character. I mean, I always knew movie stars were
two-dimensional, but come on.
The same thing is going on with musical theater. It’s almost
become a requirement that every single Broadway show has to feature
some lame celebrity. (For some reason though, I don’t think musical
theater guys quite get the definition of celebrity. I mean. Debbie
Gibson? Donny Osmond? Sally Struthers? The exception being of
course Neil Patrick Harris in "Rent" who just blows my mind. Oh,
and Neil, if you’re reading this, will you marry me?)
Okay, back to the topic at hand. It all started with Disney, but
at least they didn’t go overboard. Ever since Matthew Broderick’s
stint in "The Lion King," they have featured at least one prominent
movie star in their animated films. (Nathan Lane doesn’t count.
Although known in the theater world, he didn’t gain his Hollywood
star status until after "The Lion King." And besides, he rocks.)
After Broderick there was Mel Gibson in "Pocahontas," then came
Demi Moore ("Hunchback") and James Woods ("Hercules").
But I’ll tell you why it really bugs me that all these animated
films are bragging about these long lists of celebrities from Ralph
Fiennes and Matt Damon to Sandra Bullock. It’s not that I don’t
think that they can’t do an adequate job. (Although, I once saw
this anime called "Armitage" featuring the voices of Elizabeth
Berkeley and Keifer Sutherland and boy was it a stinker. You’d
think that it would be easier to watch a Berkeley flick if you
didn’t have to see her frizzy-haired, bug-eyed, vacant face on the
screen, but no. It’s just as painful to watch.)
It’s just that there are probably dozens and dozens of talented
actors who can do just as good if not a better job than all of
these celebs being cast. And they are starving. Voice actors whose
specialties are creating different characters with their voices are
losing their livelihoods to these big names. I know that the whole
thing is a marketing scheme to draw in audiences with star power,
but Disney’s several stars per film has turned into a "I bet I can
pack the credits with more big names than you can."
I also think star power destroys the beauty of the animated
film. Okay, that was a little harshly worded, but how many of you
watched "Anastasia" and went: "That was Meg Ryan? No. Nooo. Get out
of town. It couldn’t be. Didn’t sound anything like her." This is
what I mean. Movie stars have very recognizable and distinct
voices. And while they might be fine actors, most are not trained
for morphing their voice into a character. Instead, the animated
characters don’t really come to life, they just become Meg Ryan or
Drew Barrymore.
Being an anime freak, I love it that animation is becoming more
popular and more studios are making animated films. But why stars?
Why? Don’t get me wrong. I love celebrities and get just as star
struck as anyone. (Hey, I’d kiss their Doc Martens. I’d kiss their
Doc Martens! Their every wish I’d obey!) But it’s not like they
don’t have tons of money, a luxurious lifestyle and tons of other
movie offers. Why do they have to conquer the world of animation as
well?
Stephanie is a third-year Communication Studies major. She hopes
one day to be animated, but at the way things are going now,
they’ll never hire me, I mean her.