Wednesday, December 3, 1997
… but A&E is heating things up. Sort of. Here are our
holiday video rental recommendations.’Twas the week before finals
and all across campus students were braving El Niño’s icy
torrents, ruining many a pair of shoes in Westwood Plaza’s cruel
puddles, leaving many a pair of shorts tragically unworn.
Winter break is almost upon us and the weather promises to be
bad. You’ll be stuck at home with "A Very Brady Christmas" the only
light in your bleary life. And you’re certainly not going to read.
Whatever. You did that all quarter.
Enter your friendly A&E editors and staff writers. We’re
here to remind you that the Wherehouse is your friend (and
Hollywood Video, and 20/20. The verdict is still out on
Blockbuster). We didn’t want a month without the Daily Bruin to rob
you of our presence, so curl up with your VCR and know that A&E
cares.
"Clueless"
Directed by Amy Heckerling,
Starring Alicia Silverstone, Brittany Murphy, Paul Rudd and
Justin Walker
Ok, so the only reason guys may rent this one over the holidays
is to refresh those dreams of all they want for Christmas Â
and it sure ain’t their two front teeth. Alicia
"I’m-so-sexy-and-cute-and-pouty" Silverstone plays Cher, the
spoiled little rich girl with a heart-o-gold who remakes her new
outcast friend into an acceptable socialite in this chick flick.
The garb in this teeny-bopper delight is so stylin’ that any
fashion conscious girlie-girl will run out to Contempo and charge
up that plastic.
Don’t fret, it’s not just one giant Sea Breeze commercial
(although it comes damn close). The film is complete with an
exciting pseudo-car chase scene, a romance between two socially
inept high school teachers orchestrated by Cher herself and a
fabricated teen language that, cheesy as it is, cracks a smile.
Everyone from "Betties" (good-looking girls) to "Barneys" (ugly
guys) to "Cake Boys" (gay males) will laugh at this one.
"A Bronx Tale"
Directed by Robert De Niro
Starring Robert De Niro and Chaz Palminteri
Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Calogero, the son
of a modest New York bus driver, Lorenzo Anello (Robert De Niro).
And then there was Sonny, the perfect addition to any fairy tale
 the neighborhood mobster "godfather." Anello does all he can
to keep his son away from Sonny’s underground corruption, but
sometimes trying just isn’t enough.
Complete with big guns, tough men, and wars of blood and love,
"A Bronx Tale" is a story for all (grown-up) girls and boys,
perpetuating and satisfying that lovely stereotype: the need for
romanticism in flicks to satisfy the female folk and
testosterone-peaking action for the male folk.
"Eat Drink Man Woman"
Directed by Ang Lee
Starring Winston Chao, Sihung Lung, Kuei-Mei Yang and Chien-Lien
Wu
If reading anything during winter break is just too strenuous of
an academic task to handle, stay away from this foreign film.
Unless knowing what the characters are saying isn’t all that
important but making taste buds water in the pre-holiday feasting
spirit is your goal.
"Eat Drink Man Woman," in Chinese with English subtitles,
details the tragicomic life of master Chef Chu and his three
rebellious daughters. Through his intricately prepared Chinese
delicacies, he tries to keep the family traditions and connections
alive. But with the youngest daughter discovering her first love,
the middle daughter jumping in the arms (and bed) of a married
co-worker and the eldest finding her own sensuality, food just
doesn’t seem to cut it. Madness seems to have overtaken the Chu
household and Chef Chu eventually becomes a part of it. Just
watching this film will cause a late-night run away from the turkey
and to the nearest Sam Woo.
"Sunset Blvd."
Directed by Billy Wilder
Starring Gloria Swanson and William Holden
It’s hard to get much more noir than this classic tale of a kept
man. The year is 1949 and William Holden is Joe Gillis, a
struggling screenwriter about to give up on la la land. That is,
until fate brings him to Norma Desmond, a star of the silent screen
who doesn’t understand why everyone’s so hung up on dialogue these
days. The setting is 10086 Sunset Blvd., a rambling, gothic,
delightfully horrid mansion complete with a dead chimp and a spooky
butler (Erich von Stroheim). Soon, Norma is paying for Joe’s suits
and planning her comeback as he "edits" her melodramatic
screenplay.
All the ingredients that make "L.A. Confidential" and "The Big
Sleep" hard-boiled icons are here in pumped- up form. We get the
glamour, the moral rot, the cynical narrator fighting his own
demons. We get all the myths about Los Angeles that we love to
repeat over and over in film and literature, mass produced to make
sure that those who’ve never been here get some sort of lumbering,
over-the-top image of the City of Angels. Or at least that’s the
theory my "L.A., City of Crime" professor adopts.
In fact, "Sunset Boulevard’s" metadrama is part of what makes
the movie great. It’s an industry that can laugh at itself, as
Swanson, herself a graduate of early Hollywood, proved when she
garnered an Oscar nomination for her portrayal of the maladjusted
Norma. Needless to say, her transition to talkies was a little
smoother. Paramount, which released the film, doesn’t mind playing
the corporate, hit-hungry studio and Cecil B. De Mille himself has
a cameo.
It’s a dark and sweeping look at historical, hyperbolized
Hollywood, necessary viewing for anyone who calls themselves a
student of noir. And proof that the pictures did not exactly get
small.
"Waiting for Guffman"
Directed by Christopher Guest
Starring Christopher Guest and Parker Posey
Blaine, Missouri, is the hilarious location for this small scale
pseudo-documentary. It’s the footstool capital of the world and
home to a cast of lovably insane characters, among them local drama
hero Corky St. Clair, famed for his stage production of "Backdraft"
(the fire department had issues).
Now he’s rallying the townspeople and their inner starlets to
create "Red, White and Blaine," a musical chronicling the town’s
colorful and folksy history. Who knew, for example, that the aliens
made a pit stop in Blaine before crashing in Roswell? The stars of
the production include Libby Mae Brown (Posey), a local Dairy Queen
employee and Ron Albertson, a travel agent who declares, "If
there’s an empty space, just say a line. That’s what I like to do.
Even from another show."
Frighteningly, Ron and his wife Sheila are the most seasoned
performers of the bunch. Yet, they’re all seeing stars when Corky
tells them that a Broadway scout is coming to see the show.
Besides the inherent fun of bad community theater (including
some spastic choreography and an entire song devoted the
manufacture of stools), the film comments sincerely and subtly on
our culture’s fascination with Hollywood and Broadway. All of
Corky’s protègès are fabulous successes in the eyes of
Blaine  they are big, happy, over-acting fish in a small
pond. When they decide to pursue show business careers, they are
painfully out of their element.
That’s the message. But watch the movie for its sleeper-hit
style and amusing subtext (Corky’s mysterious wife and Ron’s
mysterious surgery–he claims to have had a penis reduction, but
Sheila tells a different story…) Is Blaine ready for Broadway?
Maybe not. But "Waiting for Guffman" is certainly worthy of your
living room.
"Heathers"
Directed by Michael Lehmann
Starring Winona Ryder and Christian Slater
An ’80s classic and black comedy must for anyone who’s ever
fantasized about blowing up the Heathers of their high school. The
girls with the perfect hair, the new black Jetta on their 16th
birthday, who made the cheer squad without ever having to endure a
year of drill team, who Emil Lunden liked in eighth grade when you
were such an obvious choice … Oh wait, that wasn’t the movie. Not
that anyone’s bitter.
Ryder is Veronica Sawyer, the reluctant newcomer in a clique
that rules the lunch room. She endures their petty hierarchy and
endless games of croquet until sexy rebel with a cause Jason Dean
(Christian Slater) enters the scene. You’ve gotta love a guy who
pulls a gun on the frat-boys-to-be in the middle of the cafeteria.
The two team up to "accidentally" create a wave of "suicides" among
the high school’s elite. Soon, Veronica laments, "my teen angst has
a body count."
"Heather’s" is full of classic one-liners, including such gems
as, "Fuck me gently with a chain saw" and "Why are you such a
megabitch?" (to which Shannon Doherty, the original megabitch,
replies sweetly, "Because I can be").
Of course, as the popular kids commit suicide, suicide becomes
popular  the "Woodstock for the ’80s," according to J.D. It
confirms what we all suspected  that it’s not what you do,
but how cool you look doing it. Veronica of course learns all the
right lessons about what popularity and even a few sticks of
dynamite can’t buy, but we like her better armed and
angst-ridden.
"Heathers" is the ultimate alternative to "Sixteen Candles" and
other John Hughes high-school epics. In the big croquet game of
life, Winona Ryder can kick Molly Ringwald’s ass any day.
"The Sword in the Stone"
Directed by Wolfgang Reitherman
OK, Disney cartoons can get kind of hokey. Anyone that can get
through the last half hour of "The Lion King" without feeling sick
to their stomach is quite the superhuman in my book. However, one
of my favorite feature-length Disney cartoons has got to be the
very-unhokey "The Sword and the Stone." It’s more of an
adventure-oriented movie, chronicling the "education" of young
Arthur under the tutelage of the witty wizard, Merlin.
What makes this movie so great is the ways Merlin teaches Arthur
his lessons. For instance, Arthur’s first lesson is problem solving
and quick thinking. So Merlin transforms the both of them into
fish, where they encounter all sorts of evil fish in the moat of a
castle. When its time for telling Arthur about love, Merlin waves
his wand and  poof  Arthur is a fidgety squirrel, who
must learn how to deal with the aggressive female who wants to mate
with Arthur the squirrel.
This movie is pretty funny, too. Well, it’s not as funny as
"Aladdin," but hey, this is 1963, and humor took a back seat to the
story. And the animation in "The Sword and the Stone" is not
spectacular, a la "The Hunchback of Notre Dame," but it certainly
doesn’t take away from the highly entertaining hi-jinks of the
would-be King Arthur and Merlin.
"Less Than Zero"
Directed by Marek Kanlevska
Starring Andrew McCarthy and Jai Geertz
Remember this one? This was one of the first anti-Brat Pack
movies to be released, offering reprieve to all those moviegoers
nauseated with Molly Ringwald and John Hughes. "Less Than Zero" is
a loud and bright movie with lots of sex, drugs and rock-n-roll. It
gives the MTV treatment to Bret Easton Ellis’ tour-de-force novel
about rich little West Hollywood college kids who party way too
much.
McCarthy and the really sexy Geertz play a couple reviving their
relationship while home from school. In the meantime, they must
take care of their coke-snorting, party-all-the-time friend, Julian
(played wonderfully by Robert Downey, Jr.). What ensues is life on
the edge, and emotional tumult as a result of kids who think
they’re indestructible. After seeing Julian going through
withdrawal, you’ve become so enthralled that you become concerned
with the characters. "Less Than Zero" is heavy, and that’s just
what makes this sit-up-and-take-notice flick so great.
"Rainman"
Directed by Barry Levinson
Starring Dustin Hoffman and Tom Cruise
"Rainman" has to be one of the all-time greatest dramas ever. I
can remember first watching it and just feeling completely floored
by the emotion and performances featured in the movie. Tom Cruise
has his typical reformed cocky-hotshot role but goes beyond that
stereotype once a bond is formed with his autistic brother,
flawlessly and touchingly played by Dustin Hoffman. "Rainman" has
everything: a sense of adventure, a feel-good plot, plenty of humor
and enthralling dialogue. But the life-affirming journey Cruise and
Hoffman take across the country, which climaxes with a stop in Las
Vegas, never once bores or wanes on the emotion factor. Beating all
the other mentally-ill themed pictures by several miles, "Rainman"
is definitely, definitely one of the most captivating movies of all
time.
"The Professional"
Directed by Luc Besson
Starring Jean Reno and Natalie Portman
Seldom does a movie have this kind of effect on me. After
watching it my brother and I jumped off the couch, pressed our
faces against the TV screen and wondered in desperation who is that
fabulous child actress.
Natalie Portman. I thought to myself, "I can’t wait ’til she
gets older. She’s going to be a fabulous actress," while my brother
thought, "I can’t wait ’til she gets older. She’s going to be real
hot looking." Portman, who has since moved on to other films
("Heat" and "Beautiful Girls") is set to be in the new "Star Wars"
films.
In the film’s quite original story, she is a young girl who
develops a touching friendship with an assassin (Jean Reno) after
her entire family is murdered. Though the premise makes the movie
potentially cheesy or unrealistic, the film is neither thanks to
the leads. Portman is natural and her performance is
heart-wrenchingly realistic. Reno is equally stellar.
The film is really a testament to how far good acting and a good
story can go. And for those of you who just want to see a film with
good suspense and action, yeah this movie’s got that too.
"Gone with the Wind"
Directed by David O. Selznick
Starring Vivien Leigh and Clark Gable
Frankly some of you hip college students couldn’t give a damn
about classics. But they’re not called classics for nothing.And if
your parents are bugging for some quality time over holiday break,
pop in this video, grab some kleenex and, ulterior motives aside,
actually enjoy a great movie.
"Gone with the Wind," which spawned one of the largest talent
searches of all time and started me on a very expensive and
unhealthy obsession with the film, gave America Vivien Leigh, who
is my non-living idol and who sometimes I tell people I was in a
past life (see the extent of the obsession?) Anyway,with her
piercing eyes and arched eyebrow, Leigh gives an amazing
performance, easily deserving of her Academy Award. She gives depth
and complexity to the southern belle and shows that Scarlett O’Hara
was not just a bitch.
The performances by other actors are not too shabby either. They
couldn’t have really gone wrong with the likes of Clark Gable and
Olivia de Havilland.
And to top it all off, the movie is just beautiful. Made in 1939
with the then brand-new technicolor, it shows movie-making back in
the good ‘ol studio days. Some of the scenes like when the camera
pans up as Scarlett is walking among the rows of dead and injured
soldiers are breathtaking.
Just see it, godammit.
"Evil Dead 2"
Directed by Sam Raimi
Starring Bruce Campbell
Okay, why the hell would anyone want to watch a film called
"Evil Dead 2?" Sounds like a really bad horror flick. Well, it is.
But it’s one of those it’s-so-bad-it’s-good kind of films. Or more
like it’s-so-bad-it’s-hilarious.
The second film in Sam Raimi’s trilogy, the third being "Army of
Darkness," "Evil Dead 2’s" plot is not particularly
ground-breaking. It’s just Bruce Campbell ("Brisco County Jr.")
running away from some invisible demon that’s part of an ancient
curse. In the meantime, you get a decapitated dancing girlfriend
and some hick visitors who get possessed.
But the genius comes from two aspects of the film, the first
being how low-budget it is. Audiences can revel in its pulled-back
shots of bridges and trees that are just screaming "hey I’m really
a small model figure." Also whenever the audience gets the demon
running through the forest point of view, they get the full effect
of the way it was actually shot  with two camera guys running
around, each holding onto one end of a four-by-four onto which a
camera is ducktaped.
The truly wonderful aspect of the film however is Bruce Campbell
himself. He somehow makes bad one-liners incredibly funny, (but not
funny "ha-ha," funny "that’s stupid"). His comedic genius shines
when one of Campbell’s hands is infected by an evil spirit and an
entire battle with his hand ensues ending in Campbell performing
his own amputation with a chainsaw.
If all of this sounds like an incredibly bad movie, as I said,
it is. But that’s why you should rent it.
"Little Women" Â the first half
Directed by Gillian Armstrong
Starring Winona Ryder, Christian Bale and Susan Sarandon
Most girls have read this classic Louisa May Alcott novel, but I
haven’t. Found it a little boring for my taste, preferring to stick
to the more substantial Sweet Valley High books. But this
sumptuously beautiful and exquisitely acted film is anything but
boring and I heartily recommend the first hour of this great
adaptation.
Set during the Civil War in the North, the March family is
thriving despite the fact that their beloved father is off fighting
in the war. Nurtured by a loving and sensible mother (Susan
Sarandon), the four girls each have their own distinct
personalities: The oldest, Meg, is the most traditional, who
doesn’t mind conforming to society’s rules and finding a good
husband. The rebel Jo (Ryder) is the most colorful and
unconventional sister who longs for adventure and a life outside of
what society decrees for her. Poor Beth (Claire Danes) is the least
interesting sister, whose only role in the film is to get sick and
cough a lot. And then there’s the bitch Amy, who unfortunately
shares my name and is so jealous and selfish and petty that every
time her snotty face appears on the screen, I have to be physically
restrained from attacking the television. In one fabulous scene,
when Jo attacks Amy for burning her manuscript, I was secretly
hoping she would kill the little she-devil.
While the film spans several years, the most enjoyable part for
me is the friendship-romance between Jo and her neighbor Laurie
(Christian Bale). They are so perfect for each other that when Jo
refuses Laurie’s romantic marriage proposal, you want to scream
with Laurie and wonder why the hell not?
The film goes downhill from there, with Beth getting even
sicker, Jo falling in love with some old geezer and bitch Amy
trying to get her claws in the lovelorn Laurie.
As far as I’m concerned, the movie ended right before Jo says no
to Laurie. I’d like to think that Jo would have given the right
answer, said yes, and they would have lived happily ever after. But
of course, movies must always follow the endings of books if
they’re ever going to be good or else they must face the wrath of
critics and fans of the novels. Whatever.
"A Summer Place"
Directed by Delmer Daves
Starring Richard Egan, Sandra Dee and Troy Donahue
For the most melodramatic and hysterical soap-opera type of
movie, "A Summer Place" is the perfect film that shamelessly
indulges in every cheesy stereotype ever to exist in the history of
romance films.
My friends and I discovered this gem on AMC one bored afternoon
and were hooked on the insipid plot, pretty-boy actors and
shockingly frank dialogue about sex. And this was made in the
’50s!
Sandra Dee and Troy Donahue star as teenage lovers who want to
be bad and give in to their uncontained lust for each other, but
they can’t! Trapped in Puritanical ’50s society, it seems like the
whole world is against them and their desire to get it on:
Dee’s mother is a bitchy shrew who thinks she’s the Virgin Mary
and treats her daughter like a horny slut, insisting that she wear
clothes that look like potato sacks in order to keep those scary
men away. Donahue’s father is a drunk who doesn’t mind sucking up
all the family money on booze instead of paying for his son’s
college tuition. But wait! That’s not even the worst part.
Dee’s father and Donahue’s mother, who once were teenage lovers
themselves, have left their respective spouses to marry each other.
So now, poor Sandra Dee and her little Johnny are now
step-siblings! While vacationing with their new parents, under the
pretense of going to see the movie "King Kong," the couple go to
the beach and find a shack in the middle of nowhere that seems like
the perfect spot to give in to their sin. But will they? Well, I’m
not going to tell you. That’s why we’re recommending that you rent
these movies and see them for yourselves.
While the story isn’t that great, the enjoyment of the movie
lies in the characters’ overacting, the music’s climactic swells
and classic lines like, "Oh Johnny, let’s be bad, I wanna be
bad!"
"Ordinary People"
Directed by Robert Redford
Starring Donald Sutherland, Timothy Hutton and Mary Tyler
Moore
If you’re in the mood to cry your eyes out and curse your
insensitive parents, this is the movie for you! Forget about seeing
some empty action thriller or unfulfilling brainless comedy, we all
know that when you watch a movie, you really want to break down in
tears, right?
Starring a very hot-looking Timothy Hutton in his breakout
performance, the movie features an emotionally shell-shocked family
that is recovering from one domestic tragedy after another.
First, the family’s oldest, most beloved son dies in a tragic
boating accident. Then the younger grief-stricken son Conrad
(Hutton) tries to commit suicide and leave this world as well.
The film picks up when Conrad has just come back from the mental
hospital and after reacquainting himself with his parents, it’s not
hard to understand why he tried to off himself. While his father
(Sutherland) is a caring and loving man, his mother (Moore in the
bitchiest performance ever) is a cold, heartless ice maiden whose
idea of showing affection to her son is buying him some shirts and
leaving them on his bed when he’s not home. And every time Conrad
tries to talk to his mother, she rushes off to get on the phone to
plan another tupperware party.
While there are many notable performances in the film, the only
character you’ll ever be concerned about is Hutton. He is so
convincing as the haunted, angsty, guilt-ridden Conrad that you’ll
want to reach out and try to hug him or at least jump his
bones.
With his broken-down puppy-dog face, you’ll be cheering every
time it lights up in that very rare smile. I think I’ve counted his
grins in the film and there are probably about five. But don’t
worry about missing them. You’ll be so glad that he’s happy for at
least one second in his miserable life that it will make you
unbelievably relieved and secretly appreciate the fact that you’re
on vacation and just watching this movie instead of living it.
"Enchanted April"
Directed by Mike Newell
Starring Josie Lawrence, Miranda Richardson, Polly Walker and
Joan Plowright
Okay, this one’s just a really nice movie. It revolves around
four English women at the turn of the century, getting away from
their husbands and the rainy London streets. In the warm sunshine
of the Italian Riviera’s cliffs, they find both empowerment and
friendship, along with love from unexpected sources.
This film will leave you giddy and smiley, with definite plans
for taking tea in the parlor. Play it when it’s really stormy
outside, pull the covers up tight, and let yourself float away to
the romantic recesses of your mind. As an avid believer in
escapism, I guarantee you won’t even be aware of your parents
harassing you for the next few days as the big holiday festivities
draw near.
"Birdy"
Directed by Alan Parker
Starring Nicholas Cage and Matthew Modine.
This emotional tale, told in flashbacks, traces the events that
lead up to Matthew Modine’s character’s mental breakdown during the
Vietnam War. However, rather than focus on the traumas of battle,
the film concentrates on the eccentric childhood of the snapped
soldier and his relationship with his best friend, played by
Nicholas Cage. Complete with tons of shattering emotional scenes
and hilarious coming-of-age moments, the touching piece brings
viewers into the unusual mind of a sensitive youth. Also, with a
moving soundtrack by Peter Gabriel and incredibly artistic,
well-shot scenes, the film transcends the realm of your standard
awkward growing-up story. In essence, it left me in a state of
elated dark gloom for days after I saw it, and to this day, I yearn
to find, somewhere on this bleak planet, both the lead characters
 strange, witty and self-absorbed as they may be.
"Short Cuts"
Directed by Alan Altman.
This three-hour-long epic includes about 32 well-known actors
from Tim Robbins to Lili Tomlin. It involves various intermingling
short plotlines that will leave you bawling and grinning and
squealing and finally, about 10 minutes after the rolling credits,
broken and totally numb. Most of the tales involve somewhat
disturbing subject matter, such as Jennifer Jason Leigh playing a
sex-line operator who frustrates her emotionally ill-at-ease
husband.
Other stories portray a chic seedy side of life, like the fading
lounge lizard who rests on her former laurels, that speak to that
desperate side of film reserved for late night movie surprises.
"Shortcuts" excels in its originality and intelligent script, with
characters sometimes saying more in what they don’t mention than in
what they do. And, despite its length, the extensive production
will have you absorbed for its entirety. I remember driving back in
silence from the theater with my mom, the both of us unable to find
words to express what a profound impact the film had on us.
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