Monday, 6/9/97 The truth on travelling down downtown path
Micheal Datcher Wednesday Oct. 6, 1993 You have just walked
under the overpass – a place where you can get just below the funk
– and Prince says everybody’s going uptown but downtown may be a
close second. On Friday nights at Glam Slam, when SWV begins to
moan their way through "Downtown," the sisters in the house throw
their hands in the air, releasing screams of "hehhh!" SWV asks,
"You’ve been wondering how to make it bet-ter?" The groove gets
serious. This is not surprising given the song’s lyrical content.
However, the brothers’ response to this but about cunnilingus is
noteworthy. As the jam plays, sly and knowing grins abound. A cool,
husky-voiced "yeah" adds a black male affirmation to the mix. The
party is on. Popular culture often mimics reality. Our films and
music represent a reflection, although often a skewed one, of the
trends that are developing in American culture. This is especially
true for African Americans. Maybe because of the centrality of
music in our culture. Music that provides access to self-definition
in a country that has, historically, sought so aggressively to
label and define our collective self for us. Whether the coded old
Negro Spirituals, the deceptively simple Blues, or slammin’
hip-hop, black music often offers insight into what’s on the black
mind. In the last six months, numerous songs have been released
about oral sex. This is nothing new to black music. Princes "Head"
and The Time’s "Stick" come to mind. There are many others.
Recently, however, the songs have been about the brothers
performing the oral sex. About the brothers going downtown. Now
back in the day, a brother would tell you in a second, "I don’t go
there." He was probably lying, and maybe had even made a recent
trip, but social pressure within the black community wouldn’t allow
him to be honest. Oral sex for black men was taboo. Our music may
be signaling that times are changing. The second single, "Lick You
Up," off the H-Town Boys’ debut album, firmly establishes their
position. "Tell me what you need/ I just want to taste the
sweetness from your body/ come on let me lick you up /come on let
me lick you down." The latest Bel Biv DeVoe single, "Something in
Your Eye," in part, goes, "When I come inside / I’ll make you wet /
then I’ll lick you dry." Keith Sweat’s proteges, Silk, offer the
following on "Freaky": "I wanna lick you up and down / till you say
stop." Lyrically , Smokey Robinson and Marvin Gaye have no need to
feel threatened. It’s the thought that counts. Why are brothers
starting to come out of the closet about their downtown passions?
Before we can answer that question, we need to think about why and
how the taboo came into existence. It is impossible to separate
issues of power from issues of sexuality. History is rife – and
ugly – with examples of men using women’s bodies to empower
themselves. Women have been positioned as the sexual servant. Her
role: To please the man. When you complicate this situation by
introducing race, class and changing societal folkways and mores,
it gets funky. Many black men confronting roadblocks to traditional
American avenues of manhood – breadwinner, high social positioning,
among others – have looked to black women as access routes. The
sexual domination of black women became a road to manhood. The
black man having a woman perform oral sex heightened his pleasure
while solidifying his dominant position in the sexual relationship.
It the brother went downtown, it somehow feminized him, made him
feel less masculine. Besides, he was a brother, he didn’t need to
go there to please a woman. Those who needed to go there were weak,
or so the logic went. The result: Oral sex for black men is taboo.
So why are there these brothers on the radio singing as if downtown
is the place to be? These songs in black popular culture are a
reflection of what’s really going on. Things are changing. On two
occasions this summer, sitting around, talking with my homies, the
conversation turned to women – surprise. However, these
conversations were not the stereotypical shit-talking affairs. On
these occasions in particular, we talked for hours about what we do
to try to sexually please the women we date. We exchanged stories,
discussing what seemed to work. Cats openly spoke about how they
went downtown and enjoyed being there because it pleased their
mate. We talked about the importance of really trying to be good
lovers. If my collection of friends is any indication of what
brothers are thinking and doing, this is a good sign. Brothers are
trying to move away from such rigid definitions of masculinity.
Really trying to embrace the sensitivity that most of us possess
but have been afraid to express for fear of being perceived as
soft. This sensitivity manifests itself in our sexual relations in
sincerely being concerned about the pleasure that our partner is
receiving. How we can serve their needs. This type of attitude will
undoubtedly encourage sisters to give that much more of themselves
to us. Since the best sexual experiences usually occur when both
partners have a great desire to give to each other, it’ll be on.
The desire to sexually please our mates is important because it
suggests a desire to please in other areas as well. Again, if my
friends are any indication, I think brothers are learning how to
become more effective listeners, and therefore, are learning how to
"please" their mates on an emotional and psychological level as
well. A friend of mine says, "Black love is under siege." But when
the desire to please, by both partners, involves the sexual,
emotional and psychological level, black love will be well-armed.
Until then, when I’m not downtown, I’ll be here, under the
overpass. Datcher is a graduate student in African American
studies.