Friday, 5/2/97 SCREENSCENE II "Twin Town"
"Twin Town" Directed by Kevin Allen Starring Dougray Scott Oh,
the film business in Wales is just brimming with excitement these
days. And why not? When’s the last time a Welsh film had anyone but
the Cardiff and Aberystwyth Critics Circles watching intently with
thumbs poised? If the movie in question, "Twin Town," were any
good, they might have something to cheer about. Alas, ’tis not. To
say nothing of "Twin Town’s" complete lack of coherence, theme, or
charm, it’s a crass, derivative, and humorless film that succeeds
only in being completely devoid of personality and soul. Preparing
for its episodic idiocy requires no more than a refresher course on
time honored comedy devices like urinating, farting, killing pets,
and half-witted banter to coax a laugh. There’s even that funny
joke where the foreign waiter insults his customers in another
language with a warming chuckle. Yeah, that one. "Twin Town,"
confusedly speaking, is about two prankish brothers, Jeremy and
Julian Lewis (not twins incidentally) who live in the murky town of
Swansea, South Wales and like to steal cars, smoke pot from a
laudable variety of plastic containers, and slouch on the couch of
their trailer-home watching the tele. In time, they manage to
irritate a pair of corrupt cops and Bryn Cartwright, a slithery but
wealthy roofing contractor, to the point of igniting a rather
ruthless (and pointless) feud. Property is destroyed, animals are
harmed, hair is ruffled. Oh, Swansea has never been so zany. The
problem is that "Twin Town" doesn’t let you care about any of these
stick figure people for a single minute. Throwing a handful of
shallow eccentricities into characters and dialogue is not enough
to support a dark comedy. Moreover, this isn’t even a proper twin
movie. The brothers inhabit a scant twenty or thirty minutes of the
film. Which is fine because they spend the bulk of their onscreen
time being so heinously vulgar and unruly that you begin to
sympathize with the band of stooges who are trying to hurt them.
Carry on lads, where do I sign up? Even Disney comes up with better
twins. These two gloopy-looking miscreants deserve whatever they
get because they’re neither cute nor alluringly mischievious.
They’re "Dumb and Dumber" with accents. It says little for director
Kevin Allen that the dweedle dee/dum tandum of this film shoulder
absolutely no momentum in the story. His accomplishments as an
actor and documentary filmmaker might lead one to expect a good
movie, making this even more of a disappointing debut. This film
will no doubt be advertised using the names of its two Executive
Producers, Danny Boyle and Andrew MacDonald the creative
director-producer team behind "Shallow Grave" and "Trainspotting."
Swallow not the bait. "Twin Town" bears little resemblence to
either film and sports none of the energy, wit, or stylishness. By
John Nein Grade: D