Thursday, April 3, 1997UCLA parents face the juggling act of
caring for children, attending classes and working, but it’s a
challenge they find themselves willing to take onBy Carol McKay
Daily Bruin Contributor
he discussion at Ruthie and Katie Hanson’s dinner table is
nothing short of philosophical. Ruthie, Katie’s 5-year-old
daughter, challenges her mother, who is a first-year junior, with
tough issues, including the existence of a "dog heaven," where
clouds go at night, and the value of vegetarianism. She’s only 5
years old, but over macaroni and sloppy joes, she keeps up her end
of the discussion.
"Ruthie is a chatterer," said Katie, an English student. "At the
library, she’s even more trouble."
Katie, who at times finds herself bringing Ruthie to classes
with her, said it is difficult to balance single motherhood and
life as a student. With Ruthie being done with school at 11:45
a.m., Katie has little flexibility in scheduling classes.
The two take on the challenge as a team, however. Katie
remembered an instance with Ruthie in a stroller in an aisle of her
Biology lecture hall scribbling her own "notes" and even
participating in the lecture’s discussion, asking the professor to
repeat a slide on the overhead.
"We’re taking a religion class (this) quarter," Katie said,
referring to the two of them.
"I like going to classes (with mom). I get to meet her teachers.
They even have a lunch break," Ruthie said. However, Ruthie’s
favorite part about going to classes with her mom comes after
class, when she gets to pick out three candies at Ackerman’s candy
store.
Other parents taking classes at UCLA find themselves in similar
situations, in a class or at a job with their child alongside
them.
"We lead pretty crazy lives," said Robert Terwilliger, a
graduate bio-medical physics student and father of three young
children.
According to Robert and his wife, Monica, a programmer analyst
in the computer science department, their "days are very full."
With both of the Terwilliger parents performing volunteer work
for the Westside Crisis Pregnancy Center, Monica co-instructing a
university aerobics class, and both of them working full-time, time
management is very important.
"I try to do most of my work while the kids are at child care,"
Robert said. His family, who lives at the University Apartments on
Sepulveda, appreciates the centralized location of their home.
"It is really convenient. So much that we do is centered around
us  the child care, grocery store. Even our church is very
close," Monica said.
According to Katie, who lives in the same compound as the
Terwilliger family, if she and Ruthie weren’t fortunate enough to
be living at the University Apartments, a facility "a minute away"
from the child care center next door, she doesn’t know what she
would do.
"It’s been a miracle," she said. "It’s such a wonderful
community."
The Terwilliger family deals with additional daily hurdles.
"We’re the only family I know that has three small kids, two
working parents and only one car," Robert said. "We’re late a
lot."
Robert, who takes a class on campus taught by Monica’s
supervisor, said, "I often embarrass my wife by showing up after
class already started."
Besides the ordinary trials which working parents face, Robert
said his family is further tested by his obsessive-compulsive
disorder and his 5-year-old son’s attention deficit hyperactivity
disorder (ADHD).
"It takes a little extra effort," Monica said of her son’s ADHD.
"For a long time we didn’t know why he was so active." According to
Monica, his problem was most noticeable at church services, when he
would act up.
"All the other little kids had little halos on," she said. The
Terwilligers have gone through extensive training courses for
parents of children with ADHD and said that the child care staff
has helped greatly with their understanding of the situation.
Katie and Ruthie also experience extraordinary challenges. A
recent death in the family, this fall’s housing dilemma Â
Katie and Ruthie had nowhere to live as Fall Quarter was
approaching  and Ruthie’s ongoing kidney disorder make things
interesting for the two.
Ruthie, who suffers from pylonephritis, is sick often and keeps
Katie home from school.
"Having Ruthie go in and out of illness has given me a new
perspective on other things," Katie said. Her studies are not her
first priority.
"I used to stress about school. It was very intimidating. But
Ruthie has shown me what’s important."
According to Katie, the support of neighbors and professors has
helped her get through the tough times.
"UCLA health care has been patient and thorough. The staff of
the child care is so helpful. … And most professors are so
understanding of our situation," Katie said. "It’s been heaven. And
this is L.A. It’s shocking.
"You always hear nightmare stories about how big and cold and
machine-like UCLA is. That’s not what my experience has been
here."
The Terwilligers said they experienced similar surprise at
finding such comfort in Los Angeles. Monica and Robert, who met
while attending the Massachusetts Institute for Technology, lived
in Boston for six years before moving to the West Coast.
"When we first moved out here, it was just after the riots. And
then the big earthquake happened. It took us three years to come to
like it," Robert said.
"We realized it was the perfect spot for our family’s
situation," added Monica.
Katie agreed. "I’m so glad Ruthie is growing up in this
atmosphere," she said. "There are people of all ages and
backgrounds. It’s like living in the United Nations."
According to Katie, the majority of the professors who live in
the complex are visiting from out of the country, and since
everyone at the facility has children, there is always someone on
the jungle gym in the central courtyard. The eating habits of a
neighboring Hindu family was what sparked the dinner conversation
about vegetarianism. Exposed to a variety of cultures, Ruthie
learns from the people around her a great deal, Katie said.
Ruthie and Katie said they have little to complain about, with
minor exceptions. "My parking space isn’t that great," Katie
said.
"And everyone’s dinner smells gooder than ours," Ruthie said.
"Mom and I wish we could beg them for dinner. We can’t have pets
here either."
To solve the pet restrictions, Katie hopes to graduate with her
degree in English next June and continue her studies at UCLA’s law
school, so eventually the two can "move to a house in the country
and get lots of pets."
Returning to school after "10 years of writing grocery lists"
wasn’t easy, Katie said. "One of my jokes is that I have stretch
marks older than some of the people in my classes. They’ve been in
school. And they’re sharp.
"I’m in upper division English here. And that’s hard.
Everybody’s so serious," said Katie, who attended many colleges,
including UC Berkeley and UC Santa Cruz, for short periods of time
before having Ruthie.
"Before I never felt so connected to the university like I do
here. I just showed up to classes."
Now she brings Ruthie with her.
Photos by Genevieve Liang
(above) Robert Terwilliger serves homemade pancakes every
Saturday morning to his three rambunctious kids  (l. to r.)
Daniel, Paul and Jasmine.
(left) Katie sits down with Ruthie for a while after dropping
her off at day care in the morning and shows her how to make a
paper airplane. (below) Robert gives his younger son, Paul, a
piggy-back ride. (bottom left) Katie (l.) converses with Veronica
Aceves, a fourth-year English student, during a break in their
medieval literature seminar class. (bottom right) Robert and his
wife, Monica, head home to the University Apartments after work and
after picking up their three children from the day care center.